A Crow Left Of The Murder
by blackheartXbarbells
Summary: Gwen always planned to return to Charming. With all its ups and downs it was still home. It seems that even as an adult; there was no way to get around the ups and downs. She'll tackle life, family, love and settling back in to her place among the anarchy. Follows with show canon but also some AU. (Jax, OC) Lots of Opie and Chibs.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I have been on an epic binge rewatch of SOA since 'Mayans MC' will be premiering soon and I've realized while watching it that my writer wheels were spinning- so I put "pen to paper" and here we are.**

 **This story will intertwine canon from the show as well as my own little AU so I can make things fit in to the story the way I see/want them to fit.  
A main point to make is that I'm not totally sure how much Tara will be involved because well...I hated Tara (sorry!).**

 **I own nothing other than my original characters.**

 **This story will start in between the end of Season 1 and the start of Season 2.**

 **Thanks for checking things out and I hope you enjoy!**

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 **Chapter 1: Home**

It was mostly still dark outside when Gwen Winston stepped on to the small covered front porch of her brother's house. She pulled her hands in to the sleeves of her thin running top and inhaled slowly. The air was cool, damp, but somehow still full of the light dust that was ever present in Charming. She loved that smell. She had missed that smell.

This was her favorite time of day. Those moments right before the sun broke the horizon and the world started waking up. There was nothing prettier than a still, quiet, California sunrise; except maybe a California sunset.

A few seconds later she was bounding down the two small steps, making sure her headphones were secured in her ears, and casting a weary glance at the truck in the driveway, loosely covered with a tarp, before her feet were beating against pavement and she was falling in to her running stride.

There was a long day ahead of her and a long day of traveling and late night arrival behind her and this was what she needed to clear her head, settle her anxieties, and get her ready to tackle the day; the air, the sting in her throat and lungs as she ran, the music pulsing through her ears and the feeling of making contact with the pavement.

She hadn't been in charming in three year and even that visit was a short one. She hadn't lived in Charming for over four years but as she jogged her way around the streets, making a turn when she hit the 2.5 mile mark to head back to the house, she realized that it hadn't really changed that much.

It was good to see that. It was comforting.

It was only a few moments after she had made her turn towards home when the rhythm of her stride was interrupted by the subtle vibrations of the road beneath her feet. Even through her running shoes she could feel the approaching motorcycles; it had to be at least three she thought to herself.

That made the return to Charming even more comforting; that was a vibration and a roar she was more than familiar with.

They passed her on the left; it was three of them, all black machines and leather cuts and black helmets, wild hair flying around them and whipping in the air.

She smiled and chuckled when the two riders in the back, Chibs and Tig, gave her a second look before getting too far out of sight. At least she knew she would be seeing them shortly, she knew they were headed to Opie's.

She crossed over to the side of the street the house was on and slowed her run to a jog before falling in to walking strides as she made it to the start of the driveway. There were the three bikes, the orange and pink of the sky glinting off of their shiny exteriors.

 _Like it or not, babe, it's time to say hello to your old friends_ she thought to herself as she pulled the headphones from her ears and ascended up the steps and in to the house.

The voices were coming from the kitchen area and she stepped around the shelves in the opening foyer of the house and turned in to it, greeted by the sight of her dad, Piney and his two companions.

Tig's eyes lit up immediately and he smiled brightly, "that _was_ you! I thought I was seeing things!"

"Well you know the early morning light plays tricks on people sometimes," she replied with a smile.

"Come here, doll," Chibs added, reaching out for her, beckoning for a hug.

She crossed to them and hugged both men and then leaned down to greet her dad with a kiss on the cheek, "morning pops."

"The baby bird came home," Chibs stated, shaking his head, using the familiar nickname she had been carrying around since she was small.

"I felt like if there was ever an appropriate time for me to come home it was now. I tried to get in here earlier but I had to tie up some loose ends with work. I got here really late last night; I promise I wasn't hiding from you."

"Ah we would never think you were hiding from us," Tig waved her off. "We're glad you're here."

"Yeah it's good to see you. Are ye' staying long?" Chibs asked. His accent made Gwen's ears dance. She always loved to listen to him talk.

"It's all up in the open right now," she answered.

"If I have my way she'll be staying," Piney grumbled.

She rolled her eyes and gave the men a warm smile, "if you guys will excuse me, I need to grab a shower. Well, I need to grab a coffee and then a shower."

She pointed to the coffee pot behind her dad and winked at him. She was given hugs all around and promises of 'see you later' before she poured the warm liquid in to a worn brown mug, topped it with a splash of half and half and disappeared down the hallway towards the guest bedroom she was occupying.

She couldn't help but smile to herself and she strolled down the hall. Whatever anxieties she had held about seeing the club after her long absence; the men her dad and brother called family, the men she had called family her whole life, they had disappeared with the first hug and the smell of warm leather and dust.

She was struck with a pang in that moment, bringing her to a stop before her doorway.

She hated that the reunion had to be under somber circumstances. She had always wanted her return to Charming to be on happy terms, her terms, coming back to settle in and continue with the plans and life she had always thought she would have.

She was here to help her brother lay his wife to rest. To help her dad stay as healthy as possible while her brother took some time to reconcile himself with his future. To be an aunt to her niece and nephew and care for them when they needed someone the most.

"Gwen?" a deep voice interrupted her thoughts.

She lifted her head. Apparently in her drifting of thoughts her gaze had fallen to the carpeted hallway, spacing off. She looked in the direction of the voice with her eyebrows raised in question. A small smile played on her lips and she inhaled slightly, "hey Ope."

"What're you doing?" He asked.

"I just got lost in my head."

"In the hallway?"

She frowned at him and his deadpan tone. That was Opie, that's just how he spoke, but it still managed to get under her skin from time to time.

"It happens," she took a sip of coffee from the mug cradled in her hands. "Who was that outside with you? I saw Chibs and Tig."

"Oh it was Clay, he told me to say hello and he hoped to see you tonight."

Gwen didn't verbally respond aside from a 'humph' sound from her throat. Clay Morrow wasn't her favorite person. She had always tried her best to play it off and treated him with the reverence and respect he had earned by being the Sons of Anarchy President- but deep down she could never completely shake off not liking him.

"Figures that would be your response," he stated. He had the slightest twist of a smirk on his face.

His eyes were heavy. His sun tanned and slightly weathered face appeared darker than usual; solemn. She could tell he was exhausted. She also knew she couldn't really do anything to help him.

"Can I uh, ask you a favor?" He asked, breaking the silence that had settled between them.

She found it slightly ironic that he was the one doing the most talking in this moment. "Anything," she said.

"Will you ride with me? Tonight and tomorrow? I'm not…I'm not sure that I can…I don't want to do it alone."

Her gaze softened on him. "Is that allowed? Are there like…protocols or something?"

"I don't give a shit if there is," he shrugged, his deadpan tone returned.

She nodded and crossed the space between them, reaching up to touch his cheek softly. "You got me, Ope. I'll be there."

He nodded and leaned down to kiss the side of her head. "Thank you."

"Of course."

He nodded again and stepped back, glancing towards the kitchen where Piney still sat, conversing with Chibs and Tig.

"There's breakfast and coffee in there. You should eat something. I know you haven't eaten."

"Nah, I have some stuff to do. I have to find Jax, we have church."

"Ope…" she started, starting to scold him. "Really?"

"I'll see you tonight, we'll pick you up."

She sighed heavily and waved him toward the front door with one hand, "be careful at least, ok?"

Gwen and Opie were only half siblings, Gwen the result of a tryst with a crow eater in her old man's hey days of SAMCRO. Trying to point that detail out to either of them was a lost cause, though. They were barely a year apart but it never stopped Opie from touting his "older brother" status over her and it never stopped them from sealing a best-friend type of bond. In the fucked up world between their dad, his alcohol, and their mothers; they were all each other had. Aside from the rest of the club.

In all honesty Gwen's mother, Rose, had been more of a mother to Opie than Mary had. There was a part of Opie and Piney that Mary could never accept and she definitely didn't accept Gwen- not that it had mattered to the young woman much.

Once Gwen had made it out of high school, Rose had finally made the move away from Charming. She didn't ask Gwen to come with her, she had known it was a lost cause to try and get her to leave the safety in familiarity of Charming, but she had always left the door open.

The year Opie had gone to jail had been turmoil. Donna would barely look at her, let alone speak to her, or allow her time with the kids. Piney was spiraling deeper in to his tequila, or whiskey, or whatever drink was readily available for him. Jax was lost in own world and problems. With her best-friend and mom both not around and her family in tatters; Gwen had realized she needed to leave. She needed a break. Her mother's phone call to tell her daughter that she had cancer had sealed the deal.

 _Think of it as my walkabout_ she had wistfully smiled at her brother when visiting him before packing her car and leaving for Georgia, and her mom, and something new.

"Hey," Opie's voice interrupted Gwen's walk down memory lane once again.

It was late, after eleven, the day of Donna's funeral finally coming to an end. She had stepped in to play hostess to the waves of well wishers and sympathizers that came through the house after the service, and was now in the kitchen with a batch of cookie dough chilling in the fridge and a load of dishes in the dishwasher.

"Hey yourself," she said as she turned to face him.

It only took a few seconds for her to register the bed roll tucked under his arm. She angled her head and cut a glare at him. "You aren't leaving tonight, Ope."

"I have to."

"Opie!" she exclaimed, keeping her voice at a hushed level so she didn't wake up either of the kids. "Opie, you're supposed to be leaving in the morning."

"I can't say goodbye to them, bird."

She sighed at his response, her heart cracking again at what he was going through. They stood for what seemed like minutes, silently looking at each other.

"I know," she finally said.

He crossed over to her and hugged her, pulling her tight, neither of them speaking for several moments while the clock on the wall ticked away in the silent kitchen. "I couldn't have done this without you here. I would've killed someone by now. I would've gone crazy."

"I wouldn't have been anywhere else, Opie. You're my family."

He pulled away from their hug and looked at her. "If you need anything, _anything,_ even if it's something small- you call Jax, ok?"

"I know. I haven't been gone that long."

"He'll take care of you."

"I know. Jax first, then Chibs, then Bobby, then Tig, then Mickey Mouse, Barney and if everyone else in the world has disappeared, call Clay. I remember."

He nodded solemnly. "Take care of my kids."

"Like they're my own."

With another kiss to her temple, he turned and quickly made his way to the garage door and was gone. She sighed heavily and leaned back against the counter top, closing her eyes and covering her face with her hand. She listened to his motorcycle start, rev, and then fade away into the night and quiet of Charming.

It wasn't more than 15 minutes later, long enough for her to remove the dough from the fridge and start rolling it in to balls and placing them on a cookie sheet, that the sound of a motorcycle drew closer to the house.

She turned her head towards the garage door, waiting and hoping to see Opie walk back in. Maybe he had changed his mind about not saying goodbye to Kenny and Ellie.

There was a light knock and she exhaled the breath she had been holding.

"It's open!" she called out, angrily snatching the dish towel from next to the sink to wipe her hands.

"You should probably check to see who is at your door at 11:30 at night instead of just inviting them in," Jax Teller greeted her with amused eyes and a slight grin.

"You parked a loud ass motorcycle in the driveway and there's only a handful of people who would be doing that at 11:30 at night. None of those people are a threat to me."

"Fair enough."

She smiled and his grin grew to a full smile in return.

"Come here, darlin," He beckoned her over and greeted her with a hug.

They hugged for a moment and she stepped back, scowling at him, "took you long enough to make an _actual_ appearance today."

"I know. But Opie understood. It's been a crazy couple of days."

"What's new?" she sarcastically stated.

Jax's response was a gruff 'huh' and smirk.

A small voice calling for Opie interrupted their very short silence before either of them had a chance to speak again.

Gwen's face fell and she closed her eyes briefly, swallowing hard.

"Ope not here?" Jax questioned.

She shook her head 'no' and turned her head towards the back of the house when Kenny called out again.

"Give me a minute," she smiled weakly at her long time friend. "Do me a favor and put these in the oven, ok? And there's plenty of beer in the fridge from this afternoon, and food; help yourself."

"Yeah, I got it."

She returned to Jax sitting at the table in the dining area, half eaten sandwich on a paper plate in front of him and a beer sitting next to it. He was mid chew when she made her appearance, his blue eyes speaking before he was able to actually speak.

"He ok?"

"He will be," she spoke as she walked by him and straight to the fridge, retrieving a beer for herself and a second for Jax. She sat it next to the one he was already working on and plopped down in the chair next to his. "I"m mad at Opie."

"I can tell. When did he leave?"

"Not too long before you got here," she shook her head. "He said he couldn't say goodbye to the kids."

"He was avoiding the send off from us, too," Jax nodded, "I figured he would sneak away but I didn't think he would do it this early. I'm sorry."

She shrugged nonchalantly and took a long sip from her beer. She reached out gently in the quiet moment to run her thumb along the scab and bruise forming on Jax's chin and lower lip. It had been far bloodier when he made his brief appearance at the funeral earlier that day.

"What happened with this?" she asked.

"Internal disagreement," he replied quickly. She met his stare and he held it, taking a sip of his own beer. He watched her lips tighten and purse together as she studied him. "It was a onetime thing. It's handled," he added.

"You'll still tell me what I need to know?"

"Yeah, I will. I promise."

She nodded. That was enough for now. "Opie should have at least stayed the night. They just lost their mother and now they're going to wake up and he won't be here. I know he's hurting but they could have at least had a chance to say _goodbye_ to him. They didn't get that with Donna. And now they're just alone."

"They're not alone, bird."

"You know what I mean."

He sat back against the back of the chair and watched her as he took time to finish his bite of sandwich he had just taken. "They have you, first and foremost, and if you look out for them half as well as you tried to look out for me and Ope growing up, they're in perfect hands. They have Piney, for what that's worth and they have us. I know what Ope is dealing with right now."

She raised an eyebrow at him, a silent sign to continue.

"My kid doesn't have a mom either."

"Wendy was at the funeral today. So was Tara. You don't have a valid argument."

"Tara is only here for a few weeks and Wendy is leaving in the morning. She's going to a sober living house. I don't know that she'll ever be back. I'm not sure I care…" he trailed off with a shrug.

Gwen inhaled deeply and couldn't help but smile slightly. "Jackson Teller is a dad; a single one at that. I couldn't have called that one."

"I have no idea what I'm doing."

She glanced at the clock on the oven over his shoulder, keeping track of the time the cookies had been in the oven, and stood from the table to check on them. The sweet aroma of the fresh baked treats filled the kitchen as soon as she cracked the oven door open. If that wasn't the most comforting smell in the world, she didn't know what it possibly could be.

Jax didn't turn to watch her but he could hear her moving around the kitchen behind him. He finished his sandwich and took a long drink from his beer before standing up and moving in to the kitchen. The plate was discarded in the trash can by the door from the garage he entered through and then he settled with his back against a counter. She was scooping a second batch of dough on the cookie sheet as he lit a cigarette and took a long drag.

"Why are you making birthday cookies?"

The cookies Gwen were diligently working on at midnight were lovingly named 'birthday cookies' by Jax, Opie and her. They were standard butter cookies with full size reese's cups cut in to them and it had been the favorite recipe of her mother's. Every birthday, for every member of their family, including Jax; Rose had made those cookies.

"Because tomorrow is my birthday," Gwen answered him, "well, today is my birthday."

She heard his quick and heavy exhale behind her.

"Shit."

She turned to him with a soft smile, "it's okay. With everything going on, I didn't expect anyone to remember. It's just another day these days anyways; we're old. But I wanted to be sure the tradition was kept alive. Ellie helped me mix everything before she went to bed."

"You'll have to make some for Abel."

"I will."

She turned to discard the newly loaded sheet of cookies in the oven. She grabbed one off of the cooling rack and crossed the few steps to Jax, holding it out for him. He took the cookie and she reached for the half smoked cigarette in his hand, taking her own drag from it.

"Opie told me to call you if I needed help with anything, even it was small."

"Yeah."

"Can you send whoever is on tow truck duty tomorrow to get that damn truck out of the driveway? Shove it in an empty bay at the shop until Opie gets back but I don't want to look at it and I sure as hell don't want those two kids walking by it every day."

"I'll take care of it."

"Are you hanging out for awhile?" she questioned him.

"Do you want me to?"

"I want to hear all about that baby boy of yours and I want to know what the hell has been going on around here."

"Then I guess I'm hanging out for awhile."


	2. Chapter 2

**Updating: I'm not 100% sure what kind of schedule normal updating is going to follow. Right now I'm shooting for once a week. I just happen to have some stuff already written so there's some quick turn around happening!**

 **Thank you all who have read, reviewed and followed! I was so surprised and it warmed my heart to see such a good response! Feel free to PM me with any ideas/questions/thoughts!**

 **Happy reading!**

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 **Chapter 2: Conspirators**

The past three days had been a bit of a whirlwind for Gwen. The night of Donna's funeral Jax had stayed and sat in the dining room of Opie's house until two in the morning, catching up with Gwen about the events that had been unfolding in Charming since Opie's return from prison, Abel's birth, the last few months Gwen had spent with her mother and everything in between.

Everything in between- within reason.

She had risen the next morning far earlier than her body was prepared for and it felt like she had been dragging ever since. The traveling, the memorial and funeral, diving head first in to caring for Ellie and Kenny and their activities; it was all catching up with her.

The coffee pot to her right spurted as it reached the end of its brew cycle and she tore her eyes away from watching the neighbor water the plants in her front yard to prepare her cup of coffee and wait for the two kids as they appeared for breakfast.

 _Thank god it's Friday_ she thought to herself, chuckling slightly at the fact she was actually using that phrase.

She was halfway through the warm, rejuvenating cup of happiness before either of the kids had finished getting ready and made their way to the kitchen.

"Morning," she smiled at a sleepy eyed Kenny when he entered the kitchen; his backpack slung over one shoulder.

"Good morning," he responded.

"You want to eat something?"

"Do I have to?"

She shook her head 'no' as she leaned against the counter top with one hip. "I'm not going to force you to eat breakfast if you don't want to. I never liked eating breakfast when I was your age."

"Isn't breakfast the most important meal of the day?" Ellie added, joining them in the kitchen.

"So _they_ say, but your Aunt Gwen is going to let you two in on a secret right now…" She smiled sweetly when she saw both kids lean in slightly, waiting for her to finish her statement. "Sometimes adults lie about things; that whole breakfast thing is one of them."

"We already know that adults lie," Ellie giggled.

"Yeah, Uncle Jax promised me I could ride on his bike with him and he hasn't let me yet," Kenny said with a pout.

"When did he promise you that?"

"On my birthday."

"Well, I won't make you eat breakfast or fight you about breakfast. I can't make any promises on what your dad will do when he gets home but for the next few weeks, I'll be sure you have a snack in your bag in case you get hungry before lunch. How does that sound?"

Both kids echoed their 'okay' and 'thank you' to her with smiles on their faces.

"And I'll have a talk with Mr. Teller about breaking promises, too, okay?"

"Can we have coffee?" Kenny questioned with excitement in his voice.

"You can have coffee when you're fourteen and not a day before then."

Both of them frowned at her and she winked. "If you're ready to go then let's get this day started. The sooner we get to school, the sooner it'll be over and we can enjoy our weekend."

"Are we doing something fun tonight?" Ellie asked softly as she approached Gwen. Kenny had already scurried to the garage to stake a claim to the front seat even though Gwen would make him move. It had become his game the last couple of days.

"Do you want to?"

Ellie was quiet for a moment. Gwen could tell by the furrowed eyebrows and tight lips that she was thinking about her answer. Ellie had taken Donna's death harder than Kenny, but she was older and that was almost expected. She had slowly come out of her quiet shell the last 72 hours that Gwen had been back in Charming. Gwen had mostly been letting her handle things on her own and not pressure her to talk or participate.

Losing a mom, at any age and under any circumstance, was hard and she knew that her young niece needed to take her own path to healing from it.

"I think I do," she finally answered, looking up at her aunt.

Gwen smiled softly and brushed some of her loose hair away from her face, "I'll try to come up with something fun for us to do."

Ellie nodded.

"I'll have the mustang by this afternoon; I can pick you guys up from school and put the top down? Is that a good start?"

"Yeah."

"Alright let's go, kiddo," Gwen nodded towards the door with her head.

 _-ACLOTM-_

Two distinctive whistles could be heard coming from the open bays at Teller-Morrow automotive as Gwen stepped from her car that she had parked next to the ever present row of bikes. She knew the whistles weren't for her and her casual matte black leggings and light grey cropped tshirt but she was fine with that fact. They were in admiration of the classic, jade black painted Mustang she was driving, and she took more pleasure in hearing the admiration for it then hearing any kind of admiration for her.

"What a beauty," Tig said, being the first to approach her.

"Thank you," she smiled.

"You too," Tig grinned, giving her a quick peck on the cheek and then moving to circle the car. "This was your mom's wasn't it?"

"Yeah, I had it restored last year, before she died. "

"If I was to ever cage myself it would be in this," Chig joined them. He equally greeted Gwen with a quick peck on the cheek.

"How does she sound?" Tig asked, his bright blue eyes jumping up to meet hers over the hood of the car.

"She purrs."

"Don't you tease me, Gwen Winston."

Gwen chuckled and tossed her keys over the top of the car to the two admiring men. "Start her up, take her for a spin, put the top down; just don't scratch her or I'll have both your heads, got me?"

"Yes ma'am," Chig grinned, snatching the keys from Tig, "I'm driving."

"The hell you are!"

Gwen rolled her eyes and turned on her heels to walk away from the two men. She threw a wave to the on looking Juice who was seated outside of the clubhouse at one of the picnic tables. There were two men sparring in the boxing ring behind him who Gwen didn't recognize. She removed her sunglasses as she stepped in to the automotive office, her ankle high boots thudding slightly on the wood floor.

Gemma Morrow was seated at the desk and her eyes met Gwen's, a smile simultaneously forming on her face. "Hey baby."

Gwen greeted her in return and met her for a hug in the middle of the office. For whatever reason, Gemma had always been nice to Gwen; nicer than she was to most people, and Gwen had never taken that for granted.

"I was going to come see you today; tried to give you some time to settle in. I'm glad you came by."

Gwen sighed heavily, "I don't know if I'll settle in at all. This is a different world for me, really."

"Tell me about it," Gemma replied dryly, flicking her eyes in the area just behind Gwen.

Gwen turned around and a grin spread across her face at the sight of a basinet on the small couch in the office. She cast a quick grin back to Gemma and then crossed over to the basket, looking down on the swaddled infant. He was awake, though he was being quiet, and he looked up at Gwen with big, blue eyes.

"Oh my god aren't you the handsomest, sweetest little baby!" Gwen grinned, reaching down to lightly tickle his belly with her fingers.

"He looks like Jax," Gemma stated, coming up beside Gwen.

"God help us all," Gwen chuckled. "Can I hold him?"

Gemma nodded and turned back toward her desk as Gwen scooped him up and cradled him in her arms.

"How is everything going? How are the kids holding up?" Gemma asked, relaxing in her chair.

"This morning was good," Gwen said, taking a seat across from the matriarch. "Ellie asked me to do something 'fun' tonight and that's big for her. The last two days that it's been just me and them she's mostly just stayed in her room. Kenny has been great; he's just a ball of boy. I don't think he really understands everything but that's probably a good thing."

"Have you heard from Opie?"

"Not yet but I didn't think I would."

"You planning to stick around for good or are you back to Georgia when he gets back?"

Gemma didn't beat around the bush, there was nothing new there.

"I'm back for good; long term at the least. I had my car shipped here, I have my stuff ready to ship whenever Opie is back and I can get a house and get squared away. I always planned to come back to Charming, especially with my mom passing; all of this just kind of…made me pull the trigger on doing that a little sooner." Gwen cringed and her green eyes met Gemma's across the space, both women biting their lips. "That was a very bad choice of words…"

"What's your plan when Opie comes back?"

She bounced Abel lightly in her arms when he started to fuss quietly. She smiled down at him, reaching out to let him wrap the hand he had freed from his blanket around her finger. She flipped hair over her shoulder when she looked back at Gemma. "That's partially why I'm here, other than to say hello and see you under happier circumstances."

"You want to work?" Gemma smiled, guessing the young girls question before she could even ask it.

"Temporarily; if you need the help."

"For you, I always need the help. Why temporarily?"

"I need something to do while the kids are at school besides sitting around that house because I'm already starting to go a little crazy. I don't…I don't _not_ work. I'm hoping, eventually, I can open my mom's bakery here but that will take time and planning, and I can't just go without. I figured not a whole lot has changed in three years."

"One of the prospects is some computer whiz kid and set us up with some new program that I still don't understand but for the most part it's the same. I'd be happy to have you here. It'll free up some time for me to spend with my grandson."

"Thank you, Gem."

"You're family, bird. That's what we do."

The two women sat in the office and talked for awhile, almost an hour, catching up on things and cooing over Abel. Gemma finally realized the time and dismissed herself, needing to get Abel to a check up at the hospital, leaving Gwen on her own.

It dawned on her at that point that not only had she turned over her keys to Tig and Chibs but she had also turned over her cell phone and all of the belongings of her purse to them. She sighed heavily as she stepped in to the door of the office and scanned the parking lot. _I hope they're back soon…._

She started across the parking lot to the picnic tables that Juice had been occupying earlier, pulling her sunglasses back on from the top of her head. She had no desire to go in the clubhouse; you never really knew what you would find in the clubhouse and it always felt a little uncomfortable to be inside without Opie or Jax. She wasn't the type of girl that hung around the clubhouse.

The sound of a motorcycle approached as she sidled up to the table, opting to sit on the top of it instead of on the bench. She watched as the rider entered the parking lot, the familiar blonde hair of Jax popping out in every direction from underneath the helmet. He parked and removed his helmet and smiled at her from across the lot as he dismounted the bike.

"Hey darlin," Jax greeted Gwen with an upward nod of his head. He kissed her cheek quickly and took a seat on the table next to her, offering her the cigarette he had just lit.

"Thank you."

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to see your mom and now I'm stranded." Jax raised his eyebrows in a silent question and she passed his cigarette back to him. "Chibs and Tig fell in love with my car. I told them to take it for a joy ride."

Jax chuckled, "not the smartest move."

"Knowing them they're halfway to Canada," she grumbled.

He passed the cigarette back to her. "We have church in an hour so that's good news _and_ I can take you wherever you need to go. I'll get the car back to you."

"That doesn't do me much good but I appreciate it. I don't think I can pick up the kids on your bike."

Jax shrugged.

"Oh! By the way. You did good with Abel, Jax. He's beautiful. I could've snuggled him all afternoon."

"He's pretty great isn't he?"

"If you ever need extra help with him I will gladly be that extra help."

"What did you come see mom about?"

"Hmm, to see if I could work in the shop for awhile, while Opie is gone."

"Just like old times."

She cracked a smile and tucked some loose hair behind her ear. "Thanks for handling the truck, by the way. What'd you do with it?"

By the time Gwen had woken up the morning after Donna's funeral, Jax had already followed through with his promise to move the truck Donna had been shot in. She figured he went straight to the shop when he left her house and gotten it taken care of.

"It's in the back."

Gwen's head snapped towards the front gate at the sound of a honking horn. Chibs and Tig were back.

"You're rescued," Jax drawled. "Hey did mom invite you to family dinner tonight?"

"No."

"I was supposed to but…I just thought she might have jumped the gun with you being here. She's doing a dinner. Bring Ellie and Kenny, some of the guys will have their kids. Act surprised though. It's a late birthday thing and there may be presents."

"Fantastic," she feigned a smile.

"She means well. She felt bad."

"Thanks for the heads up," she smiled and patted his leg, giving his knee a quick squeeze

"My beautiful birdie that car is a fantasy come true!" Chibs exclaimed as he walked to her. She hopped down from the table and let him scoop her up in a hug.

Jax watched them for a moment, quietly, taking in her smiles and laugh as the two men teased her and popped the hood of the car. It was good to see her in that moment; to see the ease of happiness. It wasn't forced and it wasn't cold- two things he had been seeing from her in short bursts over the last few days.

She was stepping in to a big role he knew she hadn't been ready to come back to Charming to do. He was happy to see her happy, though. He was happy to see her falling back in to the person he had grown up with.

 _-ACLOTM-_

Jax found himself straddling his bike the next night and looking at his cell phone, debating making a call to her or not. Her impromptu and 'surprise' birthday dinner had gone smoother than any club event had gone in weeks. Somehow, Gemma had managed to bring them all together and started the healing for all of them.

With his own world falling in to some form of conflict or turmoil one event right after the other lately he couldn't help but feel himself drawn to her; her spirit, her fight, her familiarity. And the fact he knew he could release the club secrets he harbored and they would be safe.

"Hello Jax," she crooned after the second ring. "What are you doing?"

"I figured you would be asleep."

"Yet you still called. I'm wide awake over here."

"I'm headed back from a run and just…thought I'd check in. You're on the way home."

"You don't have to check up on me."

"Yeah, I know."

"But if you're stopping by I'll unlock the door for you."

"Leave it; I know where the key is."

Gwen was quietly singing along to 'Pretty Penny' by the Stone Temple Pilots when Jax slipped in the garage door. She was sitting at the dining room table. The light overhead was on and splashing a harsh and bright light over the room in contrast to the darkness outside. The TV was on but the volume was low and her laptop was open in an empty seat by her; the source of the music. She had one foot propped in the chair, an arm wrapped around her knee and a sea of paperwork spread out in front of her across the table.

There was a thin billow of smoke coming from a lit joint in the opposite hand. He watched her lift the joint and inhale, interrupting her singing.

She must not have heard him come in and now he had to figure out how to say hello and not startle her.

He cleared his throat. Her head turned quickly and she smiled. "Hey."

"Hey."

She held up the joint in the air, a signal to join her, and he made the short trek to the table. He took it from her fingers and settled in an empty chair. She had a bottle of Jack Daniels and a glass sitting in front of her as well.

"Blowing off some steam?" He asked.

"Ellie and Kenny are with Donna's parents. So yes," she smiled again. "Maybe not blowing off steam but indulging."

"I hope you got this from one of us," he passed the joint back to her.

"Tig."

He nodded and took in the scene in front of him. "What is all of this?"

Gwen sighed heavily and sat up straight in the chair, dropping her foot to the floor and placing the bud in the nearby ashtray. She gathered her loose hair in her hands and draped it over her shoulder, running her fingers through it.

"Ope left me a letter, a note, kind of explaining things and stuff about the kids. He said Donna had been packing because she was leaving and asked me to see if I could get stuff back to 'normal'. So I've been clearing out boxes and putting things back and _these_ ," she waved her hands in front of her, "are their bills. All of it. And late notice letters and warnings of eviction and bank statements and…their whole life."

"I didn't know Donna wanted to leave."

"There's nothing Jax," Gwen stated. Her eyes roamed the papers and then lifted to meet his. There was sadness to his blue stare. "There's really nothing."

"I know."

"You know?"

"I know some of it."

"Is that why he came back to the club?"

Jax closed his eyes for a quick moment. He hated to hear her ask that question with the type of pain it had hanging on it. It wasn't that simple of an answer.

"You knew Opie would always come back. It wasn't just because of money. It was about his family…and our family."

"Loyalty," Gwen said.

"The same reasons you're back for are the same reasons we welcomed him back. It's what we do. Donna didn't want him to and he tried to do his own thing for awhile but it just didn't click. Money was a big part of it but-"

"I don't blame you guys, Jax. I'm just trying to piece all of this together. He…never told me it was this bad."

"Of course he didn't. He's your big brother and he's not going to burden you with that. We don't ask for help, not like that."

She 'humphed' and reached for the glass, shooting back the whiskey that was left in it. "You boys need to get over your pride some times."

"Never gonna happen."

She lifted her empty glass and gave him a questioning look, silently asking if he wanted to join her. He nodded and she got up from the table, moving about the kitchen to retrieve a glass.

"Are you hungry?" she asked from the bar directly behind him.

"No I'm good, thank you," he answered, picking up one of the piles of papers she had created. It was a notice from the landlord. "How bad is it?"

"Bleaching your hair when you were 16 bad," she answered, setting the glass in front of him and settling back in her chair. He grimaced at her response. "He's going to lose this house. There's nothing for the kids for the future. Donna didn't have life insurance and I doubt Opie does. There's no health insurance either, it lapsed. I don't even know if dad knows about any of this."

"God bless your dad but I doubt he does." Jax took the time to pause and pour some of the brown liquor in to the glass and take a swig from it. "So?"

"So?"

"You wouldn't be doing all of this at midnight if you didn't have some kind of plan."

Gwen smiled. "You know me too well."

"I have years of practice, darlin. Those wheels in your head are always spinning."

She smiled again and poured herself another shot's worth of Jack. She offered it to Jax and he nodded. They let a silent agreement pass between them and clinked glasses before tipping them back.

"I have a nest built up. Some from the bakery when I get all the paperwork finished and-"

"You sold the bakery?" Jax's question interrupted her.

"I can't run it from here."

"So Charming is a permanent return?"

She rolled her eyes and sat back, pulling her legs back in to the chair. They were bare and exposed from the shorts she was wearing, golden tanned from the southern summers and black ink peeking out.

Maybe it was the weed or the whiskey or both but Gwen could swear she saw Jax's eyes trail down them for a moment.

"I want to bring her bakery here. Get a shop downtown somewhere on the strip and a house close by. I figured people around here need cakes and cupcakes right? She would've wanted it and loved it, but I can't do both. I can't be bi-coastal. It's always been in my plans…"

"You know Ope won't let you help him," Jax said. "That's _yours_ , bird. You have plans and he knows that. He won't let-"

"I know he won't," she interrupted. "But would he let the club?"

"I…don't know. He might go for it."

"How does that usually work?"

"It would go to vote and we would take it from the treasury."

"What if it came from me but…came from you?"

"You want us to front it as club money?"

"Yes."

Jax's lips pursed together and formed the slightest smile and he lifted an eyebrow; a result of his smirk. "It's a really good idea."

"Will you talk to everyone? Just…Ope and pops can't know. It'll break their hearts."

"Yeah I'll handle it. What do you do now though?"

"It won't completely drain me if I take care of the house and the car enough so Ope can get home and get back on his feet," she replied. Jax had pulled his pack of cigarettes from inside his cut and offered one to her before taking his own. "I'll settle for an apartment for now and I'll just have to…be smart for awhile."

"What exactly have you been doing in Savannah that you can pay all of this off?"

"I'm an escort," she deadpanned.

Jax choked on the drag he had just inhaled and started coughing. Gwen tried to bite back a smile- because it wasn't funny- but it was. He cleared his throat once the coughing subsided and she could see the glisten of tears on the corners of his eyes.

"That's not fucking funny," he finally said, pointing at her. "I just saw my life flash in front of my eyes and a lot of other people's lives."

"You can't hurt every man I've ever been with, Jackson, and actually it _was_ funny."

He glared at her.

"I'm part owner of the bakery. I picked up EMT shifts for awhile until Rose got really bad and I bartended some. You'd be surprised how much a biker chick bartender can make in tips in a tourist town," she smiled. "And I haven't spent a lot. I got the mustang fixed up but I lived with her and took care of her and I didn't do anything but that and work. I haven't had much of a life the last few years."

"What exactly does 'biker chick bartender' look like?" he grinned.

"You know, tits out, tight pants, crop tops, tattoos and dark hair. Pretty much the standard look of every girl who has been madly in love with you and my brother."

"You should bring that look out some time at the Clubhouse."

She cut an 'in your dreams' look at him and rolled her eyes toward the ceiling. "The point is I will be okay."

He nodded in understanding.

"So what kind of run were you guys on?"

"We were in Oakland. Had a sit down with the Niners. Nothing big or dangerous."

"Standard operating procedure," she smiled. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

He shrugged, "working at the shop."

"Good, whenever you're done at TM, I need you to come by here and give Kenny a ride on your bike since you promised him you would two months ago and you haven't yet."

Jax sighed and nodded, his eyes dropping briefly. "I did do that, didn't I?"

"You did. And he could probably use some time with you right now."

"I'll make that happen." She smiled at him and watched as he stubbed his cigarette butt in the ashtray. "I need to get home to my own boy."

"Thank you for coming by and thank you for your help with everything."

"It's always a pleasure conspiring with you." He leaned forward and kissed the top of her head, "I'll see you tomorrow. Keep these doors locked, please?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Happy update day! I am headed up to Chicago tomorrow afternoon so I wanted to be sure and post this before I left. I'm hoping that maybe Wednesdays will start being 'update days'...what do you guys think?**

 **Always, always - thank you so much for the reviews and the follows! I hope you all keep loving this story as much as I do!**

 **Happy reading! Apologies for any typos- I'm posting from my phone. I'll be sure to go back and edit when I get the chance.**

* * *

 **Chapter 3: Clusterfuck**

Jax strolled across the parking lot of Teller-Morrow automotive, en route to the office to pop in on Gwen as the day was winding down.

In terms of the club, things had been quiet over the last three weeks. Things were 'normal' in whatever sense an outlaw motorcycle club could be normal. There had been no shootings, no fights, no double crossings, and no drama. It was business as usual.

Everyone had settled in to the 'new' routine; phasing out Donna and Opie, temporarily, and working in Gwen, and the absence of Gemma on the lot while she helped care for Abel. Piney had even been spending less time drinking at his cabin and more time with his grandkids.

Gwen had even taken to cooking for the guys once a week; making sure everyone was together for a little while and taken care of.

He could hear Gwen laughing as he approached the open door of the office. She came in to view, sitting in the desk chair, long legs covered in black denim and heeled booted feet propped on the desk. Chibs was seated in the chair by the door, relaxed, laughing with her.

He had taken her under his wing; picking up the slack on whatever Piney lacked in the father department, helping with the kids and being a source for her outside of Jax should she find herself needing anything.

They both greeted Jax as he entered the doorway, his body filling most of the space. He gave Gwen a quick one over as he removed his pack of cigarettes from his pocket. She had on a quarter sleeved, button down hunter green shirt that was tucked in to her tight black jeans. Her black hair was falling around her shoulders in waves and he couldn't help but notice how many of her top buttons were undone.

"Hi darlin'," she spoke, mimicking Jax's usual term of endearment.

He acknowledged her with his eyebrows as he lit his cigarette before speaking, "What are you guys up to?"

"I'm getting' harassed is what we're up to," Chibs grumbled, playfulness showing in the wrinkles that formed around his eyes.

"I'm doing no such thing. Just pointing out to him that 'my blonde hair is from a bottle' minivan mom has the hots for him," Gwen retorted. "It's the accent."

Jax gave the older man an amused look, "go for it, brother."

"I want no part in the minivan life."

"What about one night in a minivan though?" Gwen teased.

"Aye, you don't have much room to be talkin'."

Gwen rolled her eyes at the Scotsman and dropped her feet to the floor.

This time Jax turned the amused and questioning look on Gwen.

"Gwen has a date tonight," Chibs said, answering the unasked question.

"It's not a date," she sighed.

"With who?" Jax asked.

"It really doesn't matter because it's not a date."

"Go on and tell im' lass!" Chibs chuckled.

" _You_ can go away now troublemaker," she gave Chibs a stern look. "Take your minivan keys and forget about coming over for dinner this week! You're on time out."

Chibs laughed heartily as Gwen stood and removed the keys from the hanging box on the wall and tossed them to him. He cast a wink at her and patted Jax on the shoulder as he exited the office. Jax watched him depart and then turned his look back on Gwen.

"What?" she asked.

"The outfit makes sense now," he said.

"Meaning?"

"You just…don't usually look this nice to come work at the shop all day."

She eyed him and made a face as she sat on the edge of the desk, "I'm just going to assume that was some weird form of a compliment and forget about it. It's not a _date_ anyways. It's just dinner."

She sounded exasperated and that amused Jax. "It was a compliment. You look beautiful."

"Thank you."

"So who is it? One of the prospects?"

Gwen sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, shaking it out at the roots. "No. I'm above that."

"My apologies," Jax chuckled.

"It's Hale…"

"Hale!" Jax exclaimed and laughed at the same time. "Deputy Chief Hale?"

"Yes Jackson; that one."

"Wow..." he continued to chuckle. "I didn't know 'cop' was your taste these days."

"It's not _my taste_ ," she scoffed at him.

"He's had a thing for you for a long time. Lucky him."

"Stop it," she shook her head, her bottom lip starting to pout slightly at Jax's reaction. "It's not a date!"

"It is."

"Well not on my side of things."

"How did this happen?"

"I was checking out the empty buildings downtown yesterday and he stopped to say hello and check in, give me some condolences for Donna, whatever, and he asked me to dinner. I said yes. It's just dinner."

"It's a date," Jax smiled.

Gwen finally went full pout on him and she sighed heavily, huffing as she crossed her arms across her chest. "Jacob Hale owns the building I want to buy. I figured having dinner with his kid brother, who yes has had a thing for me for a long time, wouldn't be the worst thing I could do. I'm meeting him there; it's not a big deal."

Jax licked his lips in an effort to tone down his grin at how visibly uncomfortable Gwen was. Teasing her was too much fun. "So you're just toying with his emotions?"

"I'm...padding my resume," she shrugged.

"That's kind of cold blooded, isn't it?"

"I do have SAMCRO in my blood and besides you're one to talk. You've broken how many hearts in your life?" she smiled. She glanced at the clock hanging on the wall above the doorway, and Jackson's head, and frowned. She stood upright from her lean against the desk, "did you pop in here for a reason?"

"I was heading home soon and I actually came by to see if you wanted to have dinner with me and Abel but it seems that I'm a little late to the party on that one."

She was removing her leather jacket from the back of the desk chair as he spoke.

"Abel will be sad."

"Don't try to use that sweet boy against me," she frowned, slipping her arms in to the sleeves and shaking out the fitted jacket. "This is all business."

"Whatever you need to tell yourself, darlin."

"I've just about had enough of you," she leveled a look at her friend. She grabbed her bag and fished her keys from it, "rain check on the dinner, ok?"

Jax nodded, biting the inside of this lip and stepping to the side as she approached him. "Have fun tonight. Be careful."

She gave him a soft look as she stood in front of him and she reached up, running her fingers lightly across the stubble on his face. "He's a police officer. I don't think I could be much more careful than that."

"He's a _Charming_ police officer. They aren't the most reliable."

"I'll be fine, Jax. Lock this place up will you? I'm leaving."

"Yes ma'am."

 _-ACLOTM-_

Jax had ended up having dinner with Gemma and was returning home after Gemma had her fill of quality time with her grandson and he had just enough time to say hello to Clay and make a quick exit from the house.

As he turned in to his driveway, Abel sleeping quietly in his car seat, a small smile formed on his face at the sight of Gwen sitting on the trunk of her car; waiting for him.

 _You've been spending a lot of time with Gwen lately..._ Echoed in his head in Gemma's voice.

 _Yeah_ he had responded, leaving it at that.

He had been; they had been, but he had no plans to try and look any deeper in to it other than it was a thing that was happening. He had enough baggage still swirling around he and Abel that he didn't need any more space in his head taken up with deciphering their friendship.

The time with Gwen; catching up, hanging out, spending time at the shop and with Abel and looking for a new bike for her- it was easy and easy was welcomed.

"You could have called me," he said, exiting the truck.

She shrugged, "I was giving you a few more minutes. I haven't been here for very long."

"Didn't think you'd be done with your date this early," he gave her a cheeky grin, rounding the truck to get Abel's car seat.

She slid off the car and dusted off the back of her jeans, "can we drop the date nonsense?"

"As long as it annoys you I'm going to keep doing it."

"You know, you look good in dad mode," she stated, "and also you're an ass."

"Watch your mouth in front of my kid, yeah?" he grinned.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head, "I have a feeling you've exposed him to words worse than 'ass' already and if you haven't then Gem has. I was hoping I could cash in my rain check. I brought beer and cherry pie with me."

"Yeah," he said, nodding towards the house with his head. She retrieved her items from the passenger seat of the car and then quietly followed him in to the house. Jax went one direction to get Abel settled in his nursery and Gwen headed towards the kitchen.

When he joined her, he had discarded his hoodie and cut and she was already curled up on his couch, boots kicked off between the living room and kitchen, and she was diving in to her slice of pie.

Her eyes followed Jax as he passed through the room to the kitchen. She had, admittedly, hit the wine bottle a little heavier than she should have at dinner, and she still had a lingering warmth and buzz vibrating through her. She couldn't help but sneak in the chance to admire him while she had the opportunity.

"Get your gross feet off my couch. How was the not-date?" he asked, settling next to her and giving a playful nudge of her legs.

"It was as good as you would expect it to be," she answered.

She could hear his smirk. "Did you at least get your resume padded?"

"Going to dinner with him in the first place should've been enough to get it padded but I doubt it," she frowned. "He spent most of the entre asking about Opie, and you and the club, and about Donna's death; about what you guys knew about it. I told him I didn't know anything and even if I did, he would be the last person I talked to about it."

"I'm sure that went over well with him."

"Hale is under the impression that Opie tells me all the club secrets since I've been 'an outsider' for the last couple of years. That you guys figured things were safe with me because I was on the other side of the country and that I left Charming to get away from the Club. I guess he hoped that coming back under these circumstances would jade me or something, I don't know."

"You aren't an outsider. You never have been."

"I know."

"I really didn't think he would try to use Donna to try and get info from you. I figured he would ask about us but I didn't think he would pull that card. I'm sorry."

"It's ok," she smiled weakly. "It comes with the territory. Luckily he isn't quite _charming_ enough to make it work."

Jax smiled, "and his date ended up having dessert with his arch rival."

"Don't make yourself out to be some super villain," she teased.

Silence fell between them. It wasn't awkward, but it was silence nonetheless. Jax flipped through TV channels and gave her unnoticed questioning looks when he realized she was chewing but staring in to space, lost in her head somewhere.

"What is it?" he asked.

She shook her head as if saying 'no' and then blinked rapidly, giving her attention back to the TV. "Nothing, I just spaced out a little bit."

Jax's head tilted slightly at her response. He stared at her for a moment. "That's bullshit."

She sighed heavily and sat her small plate with the almost finished pie on the coffee table, trading it for the beer bottle. She took a sip and cradled it in her hands, fingering the label that was peeling slightly in the corner from condensation, as she let her body settle deeper in to the couch cushions.

She finally raised her eyes; his bright blue stare meeting her green one.

"What kind of fucked up story did Hale try to feed you?" he asked, reading the look on her face.

"He um…did mention one thing though that kind of stuck out to me."

"What?"

"I...I don't know it seems…outlandish? I guess but…" she gave a small shrug and took a long drink of her beer. Jax was watching her intently, waiting for her to get to the head of the statement. "He doesn't think Donna's death was retaliation. He thinks it's internal."

Jax leaned back, settling in to the couch cushions. He swirled the swig of beer that was left in his bottle before downing it.

How exactly was he supposed to handle this? How much was he supposed to tell her? What did he risk by not telling her?

For Gwen, sitting across from him on the couch, he didn't need to speak. His lack of response was all she needed for an answer; explanation be damned.

There was a 'thud' of her empty beer bottle being forcefully sat on the table interrupting the now tense silence.

"Gwen…" he said, reaching for her hand as she stood from the couch.

"Fuck off, Jackson."

"Bird!" He was exasperated but his mind was racing to try and form the best response to her and he couldn't help but let his voice rise. He glanced quickly towards the back of the house, worrying that he woke up Abel and gave it a moment before he followed her to the kitchen.

"I know we've always followed this 'need to know' unwritten rule but did you not think this was something I needed to know?" she hissed, reaching for her purse and discarded jacket.

"I…of course it is but I needed time."

"You needed time?" she countered. "We've seen each other almost every day since I got back to Charming and you needed time to tell me that the group of men my brother went to prison for and lost his family for killed his wife? A month hasn't been enough time?"

"I'm sorry."

She scoffed at the apology.

"It's not that easy. What the fuck, Jax? H-" she stopped mid syllable and just shook her head, looking away from him and biting the inside of her lip. She couldn't tell the exact emotion she was feeling at the moment. It was a mixture of anger, sadness and confusion. Then she froze, her eyes growing a little wider and she turned her gaze back to him.

"Don't do that," he jumped in, already reading the expression on her face before she even said anything, "this wasn't me. You _know_ I wouldn't do that."

She nodded and raised her hands in an 'I know' gesture, reassuring him. A look of confusion and frustration crossed her face. "Clay?"

"Yeah."

She shook her head and started toward the door.

"Gwen please stay," he grabbed her arm, his eyes pleading with her.

She was silent. Her jaw was clenched; angry and determined. Jackson started to speak and stopped when Abel's cry filtered in to the room over the monitor sitting on the counter.

They looked at each other, arm's length apart, his hand holding tight to her hand. They were in a standoff; silence and stares.

"I'll check on him," Gwen finally said. "I probably woke him up anyways. He's probably hungry."

Jax let go of her hand and she slammed her purse and jacket on the counter top before strutting towards the nursery.

She was cooing over Abel and softly apologizing for being loud and waking him up when Jax entered the dim nursery. He paused for a moment in the doorway until she turned and looked at him. He handed her the small bottle and stood to the side, burying his hands in his pockets and leaning against the changing table along the wall.

"You have until the end of this bottle to talk," she said, taking a seat on the edge of the day bed.

Jax sighed heavily, shifting his weight on his feet.

"I was late to Donna's funeral because I spent the night in the cemetery. The cuts on my face? That was a fight with Tig."

"Tig?" she exclaimed.

"He pulled the trigger."

Even across the room and in the dark he could see the emotion flash in her eyes.

"I pieced it together _that day._ That was it. I hadn't…I hadn't had time to do anything and I'm not going to do anything until Opie is home."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know. It depends on what kind of state he comes home in."

"What did she do?"

"What?"

"What did she do? What did Donna do that they wanted her…"

Jax sighed heavily. He averted his eyes from her for a moment, letting them settle on the wood blocks spelling out Abel's name across his crib. "She didn't do anything. She wasn't supposed to be the one in the truck."

Her forehead wrinkled with the face she made; like she had just had the wind knocked out of her. "Opie? Why Ope? God bless him, Jax, he's loyal but he's an idiot. I don't…was it because of Piney? Did he..? Jesus, they've been in the house. The _fucking house-_ with the kids."

She was stuttering over her words and Jax crossed the room, kneeling in front of her, and putting a hand on her arm to try and soothe her.

"The feds? The ATF case I told you about? They tried to set him up like he turned on the club. Opie cleared the air with us but Clay didn't believe him. The fucking agent planted bugs to make it look like it was real."

"Opie would never rat."

"I know."

She watched Abel as he drank the formula. He was starting to get sleepy again, fighting to keep his eyes open. He had a tiny hand wrapped around one of her fingers. Jax's hand moved from her arm to her leg and he squeezed it lightly.

"You should've told me," she said.

"I'm telling you now."

She frowned, not bothering to look at him.

"Yes, I should've told you and I wanted to. That's why I came over that night you were going through their accounts. But I didn't want this to happen- you being mad and hurt. The last thing I wanted was for you to hurt more. And I didn't want to not have an answer for you because right now I don't have one. I…there are a lot of moving parts."

"This is all just sounding like excuses, Jackson, because to me the answer is pretty simple," she said, shifting to prepare to stand while still cradling Abel and managing to shake his hand from her thigh. He stood with her. She kept her gaze on Abel for a few moments, gently running her fingers across the 'Sons of Anarchy' hat he was wearing. When she finally met Jax's eyes, she could read the turmoil behind them and across his face. She could see the worry, the regret, and the weight of the information he had been carrying the last few weeks.

It didn't excuse him.

"You should get your son back to sleep in his crib," she said, moving to hand off the infant to her friend.

"I'm not making excuses, Gwen. I promise. And I promise this will get handled."

She nodded at him and stepped around him to exit the room, hearing a quiet 'there's my guy' as she reached the doorway.

Jax stepped back in to the living room at just the moment Gwen was opening his front door, in the process of making her quick exit.

"Whoa!" he called, hurrying to the door.

She stopped on the other side of the threshold and turned to him, daggers shooting from her look. "What?"

"Really? You're just going to leave?"

"Yes. I am."

His face fell. She continued to look at him and he would swear it felt like she was looking through him. She was determined to leave and to be mad at him and he knew that trying to change that was a wasted effort. When she got to this point the only thing that would help was time.

"Be careful, please?"

"Why Jax? Are Clay and Tig going to come after me too?"

She didn't give him a chance to respond. She turned on her heel, her dark hair flying over her shoulder as she turned and she quickly scurried down the steps and to her car, not giving him another look even as she backed out of his driveway.

Jax stood on the porch for a few moments, watching her leave.

Leave wasn't even the word for it; she had fled from him.

He watched her brake lights as she stopped at the end of the road and then turned back in to his house.

What a clusterfuck.


	4. Chapter 4

**I know I said update days would be Wednesday and I apologize for being late to post! I got home from Chicago on Sunday night and my Aunt passed away Monday morning after a battle with breast cancer so this week has been crazy.**

 **Please excuse any typos! I primarily did this on my phone and I promise i'll go back and fix things!**

 **You're going to start catching bits and pieces of scenes and dialogue from the show. It won't all be a direct copy - I may spin some things!**

 **For all who reviewed and followed - THANK YOU SO MUCH! Please stick with me!**

* * *

 **Chapter 4: Not Wrong**

Jax removed his helmet and sat it on the seat of his bike in the driveway of Opie's house. The new day had rolled around and brought with it the return of his best friend and more radio silence from Gwen. Her jacket, which she had forgotten at his house, was draped across the seat and he gathered it in his gloved hands before heading up the driveway.

At least Opie wasn't hard to find. He was in the garage, unloading a box, and quickly greeted his friend with a long embrace. Jax stepped away from him and took in the vintage bike, or the skeleton of it at least, that was propped up on a work table

"Holy shit. This is beautiful. Where did you find this?"

"CHP chatted me up and put me on to it. It was just rotting behind a garage. It's all there- all stock. I brought it back for Gwen. I owe her a birthday present."

"Should keep you busy for a while."

"That's the plan."

"We missed you bro."

Opie nodded, "how is everyone?"

As if the mention of Gwen's name had summoned her, she came bouncing in to the garage, unintentionally stopping Jax in responding. She was fresh from a shower after a morning run. She was pulling her long black hair in to a high ponytail, a sliver of her stomach showing from the edge of her T-shirt. She paused for a second when she realized Jax was in the garage with her brother.

She held his gaze for a moment and then looked at Opie, "the kids are waking up."

He nodded.

"Is that my jacket?" she asked Jax.

"Yeah, I uh…figured you'd want it."

"Thank you," she reached for the garmet and then looked at Opie. "Breakfast, Ope. 15 minutes."

"Gwen we're, uh, heading to the clubhouse."

"No, Ope, it can wait. Spend time with your family," Jax said. "It's…not going anywhere."

"It can't wait. If we're talking about retaliation, it's not waiting."

"Opie they want to see you," Gwen frowned.

"I'll see them this afternoon, Bird. I promise," he crossed the room to her and kissed her quickly on the temple. "I promise."

"I'll have your balls if you break this promise, Opie," she said in low tone, gritted teeth. "I'm serious."

"I got it. Love you."

She gave him a stern look, turned a look at Jax, and then turned on her heel to make her way back in to the house.

"Goddam, the temperature dropped 20 degrees when she saw you out here."

"Yeah. She's a little mad at me right now."

"No shit."

Jax sighed, "maybe more than a little."

"Anything I can help with?"

Jax shook his head. "No, I'll make it right. I got this."

 _-ACLOTM-_

Opie was leaning against a table in the SAMCRO clubhouse. The beer in his hand had long warmed up to room temperature but he nursed it anyways. He was watching the activity around them. The billows of smoke circling through the air, the games of pool, the laughter, the music, and the shots being poured. It was Friday night and it was a celebratory night. Opie was home, Bobby was coming home and scores were being settled.

Why did he still feel uneasy?

Piney approached him, oxygen mask and all, and took a mirrored stance next to his son.

"Hi pops," Opie drawled, no enthusiasm.

"Who is with the kids?" Piney asked.

"They're with Nita and Abel at Jax's House."

"It's good to at least see your sister getting a break." Opie turned his head towards his dad, silently looking at him. "She's worked her ass off."

"I don't need a lecture pop," Opie groaned. "I know."

"I know you're hurting. I know how hard it is to lose the woman you love. No matter how bad you feel though, I don't give a shit about it because you can't punish your kids by taking it out on them. They didn't do anything."

Opie met him with another silent look.

"You didn't do this. It's not your fault. Go home to them; be their dad."

"Yeah…"

"And give Gwen a break. She has her own life to start over here. She isn't a mom and she'll never say no to you. That's on you."

"Yeah. Love you, too, Pops…"

Opie sighed heavily as Piney turned to shuffle away from him. His eyes drifted around the room. If anyone had watched their brief father and son moment, they weren't showing it now. He chugged what was remaining of his beer and started across the bar.

Gwen was seated on the bar. Her legs were covered in ripped, light denim jeans and she had on a simple maroon tank top; their dad's dog tags hung around her neck. Chibs was protectively next to her, his hand resting on the small of her back, as they talked to Half-Sack and Ima.

"Do you think I could steal my sister from you for a minute?" he asked the group when he approached, raising his voice to be heard over the music.

"Aye, brother. All yours!"

Opie nodded and stopped the older man before he left them. "Thank you. For looking after her."

Chibs nodded, "I love her like she were my own daughter."

Gwen grinned at overhearing the exchange and accepted a kiss on her cheek before he left her with Opie.

"What was pops giving you a talking to about?"

"He was acting like a father for once and scolding me for not seeing my kids. Told me that I shouldn't punish them."

"He's not wrong," Gwen shrugged meekly.

"Yeah."

"Roof?" She asked, nodding towards the smoky hallway that led to the dorms.

Opie nodded and motioned for her to lead way. He paused long enough to grab a bottle of whiskey from behind the bar to take with them.

They settled on the bench on the roof of the clubhouse that over looked the parking lot that joined it with the automotive shop. It was Jax and Opie's spot. Their view of all the things they weren't allowed to participate in as kids. Their hiding place for weed and alcohol when they were kids. Their best wooing spot. Breathtaking sunsets and sunrises were abundant on that roof.

Gwen accepted the bottle from him and took a swig before passing it back. "Good call."

"I'm still a little resourceful," he said.

They sat for a few minutes and took in the revelry below them.

"I missed you," Opie finally said.

Gwen looked at him, surprised at the outright sharing of his feelings.

"I know," he drawled. "I did though. I mean that. Not just this last couple of weeks while I've been away; since you left for Savannah. It wasn't the same around here. I know why you left though and I'm sorry that this was what brought you back."

"I would have been back anyways, Opie. Things just got sped up a little. People really have to stop apologizing to me for that. This is still my home."

"And the kids...thank you. I don't...I'm..." he started and stopped. He looked down at his hands and the bottle he was holding. "You and them and the Club…that's…"

Gwen reached over and took the bottle, sat it in between them and then squeezed his hands. "We don't have to do this, Ope. We don't have to wax poetic to each other and force words. You're my brother, my only real brother, and I would do anything for you. All these things you want to say to me- I know."

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed her head. "I love you, kiddo."

"I love you, too."

She grinned and took a shot from the bottle and handed it over to him. She pulled a pack of cigarettes from her back pocket and lit one. They watched a club member stumble out in to the parking lot with a crow eater on his arm.

"So what's up with you and Jax?" Opie asked.

Gwen chuckled, exhaling a drag of her cigarette. "It's nothing."

"You murdered him with your eyes this morning. That's not 'nothing'," Opie countered. "A piece of his soul left his body. I saw it."

Gwen shook her head, still smiling at the sarcastic drawl coming from her brother. "Come on, bub, you know Jackson Teller doesn't have a soul..."

"Ouch," Opie chuckled.

"A rare smile! Look at that," she teased him. "Also don't tell him I said that."

His smile faded and he gave her a stern look. "Really though, is this anything I need to step in about?"

"No," she shook her head, "no. It's fine. We're just not seeing eye to eye at the moment. Things will be fine."

"Did he...break your heart or something? I'll kill him if he did."

"No, Opie," Gwen rolled her eyed and laughed lightly. "No, you don't have to worry about that."

"Huh."

"What is 'huh'?" She questioned, giving him a puzzled look.

"I just had a feeling something would happen."

Gwen looked at him in the dark, her eyebrows furrowed in slight confusion. Opie glanced at her and shrugged.

"This is very awkward and weird," she said.

"Yeah I regret asking about it now."

A silence fell between them for a few moments.

"Does it have anything to do with Donna?"

Gwen gave him a startled look. Did Opie know?

Gwen had worried most of the previous night, tossing in bed for a few hours before settling in to a restless sleep, about how her newfound knowledge of Donna's accidental death would affect how she acted with Opie. Much to her surprise, it hadn't been as hard as she had anticipated. It could be because Opie had been scarce for the short time he had been home, though.

On top of the worrying, she had spent much of her time of tossing and turning and regretting her intense reaction she had to Jax. Did she have a reason to be upset with him? Yes, she felt like she did. Should she have stormed out of the house in such a dramatic fashion? No, and she knew she shouldn't have done that. That wasn't her; the drama. That wasn't how she handled things.

Quiet brooding and some well placed glares, yes, but not the drama. She knew she needed to make peace with him.

"I asked Jax not to involve you too much with all of it and I knew you would ask about it. And he tells you everything if you ask him. I didn't want to get you tied up in things with the Niners and the Mayans. I already got my wife killed."

So, he doesn't know.

"Opie this was not your fault," Gwen said.

"Anyways, don't be mad at him for it. If that's what you're mad at him for. He's just being a good friend and...trying to protect you."

"I don't like being kept in the dark. I know you guys try to protect me but there are some things I should know."

"Well, be mad at me for it then."

Gwen smiled softly and sighed, "if that's the case then I guess he's forgiven."

"You want to get back down to the party?"

"Yeah, we can. I'm going to head home soon anyways. I'm gonna relieve Nita of the kids and get them home."

Opie gave her a pained look.

"It's okay," she added. "Enjoy your night and being home, see Bobby. I got this. For tonight."

He nodded before standing up and heading towards the ladder that led back to the ground. They both headed back in to the clubhouse in a shared, comfortable silence. Gwen parted from him at the doors to make her rounds and say good night to the guys and her dad before heading to the parking lot.

She watched Chibs walk by with a blonde hanging around his neck as she fished her keys from her bag and lit a cigarette. She chuckled to herself.

He paused and peeled the woman from him, leaving her standing by herself so he could say goodbye to Gwen.

"You leavin'?"

"Yeah, I'm too old for this shit. I want my comfy clothes and some ice cream," she smiled. "And you're too old for her."

Chibs glanced back at the girl and chuckled, "that's nonsense. She's your age."

"Minus eight years, solid. And I'm too young for you, hon."

"Nobody asked your opinion, old woman. Go enjoy your ice cream and pajamas."

"Uh huh," Gwen reached to hug him and patted his chest, "I do love you. Enjoy your night."

"No doubt I will. Jackie boy was looking for you, did he find you?"

"No but I'm sure he will."

They shared a last look and Gwen laughed to herself as he hurried back to the now slightly pouting woman. She started across the parking lot and paused by her door, unlocking it and tossing the cigarette to the side. She glanced up as she opened the door and right before she moved to climb in to the driver's seat her eyes met Jax's. He was leaning against his bike and had probably been there the whole time during her quick exchange with Chibs.

He gave her a small nod and lifted his eyebrows. "Can we talk?" he mouthed to her across the space.

She nodded and shut the door and started towards the back of her car, planning to meet him at least part of the way. Not that he didn't owe her at least a short trip across the Teller-Morrow Automtive parking lot.

A silver Mercedes pulled through the gates of the lot, stopping them both in their tracks.

This wasn't the feds bringing Bobby home and this definitely wasn't a vehicle they were familiar with.

There was a celebration going on and Teller-Morrow was closed. The people of Charming knew not to disturb them, at least until the morning dawned.

Clay, flanked by Tig, Juice and Opie, made his appearance in the doorway of the clubhouse and started on his way towards the strange vehicle. Chibs was quick to join him from somewhere in the dark.

Gwen met Jax's eyes again. There was confusion on her face and a slight shiver of anxiety ran through her body. He could see it from across the parking lot. He looked at Opie and nodded towards Gwen.

Opie found her with his eyes and without even a word passing between the two men, Opie broke away to come to Gwen, Jax taking his place next to his President.

"Do you know who that is?" Gwen whispered to her brother. He shook his head 'no'. His hand found her shoulder and he gently nudge her towards her car, getting her to take the few steps back. As if four steps is going to make a difference in protecting me she thought to herself.

Opie stood, arms folded, slightly tense and a frown on his face, watching as the doors opened and four men exited the vehicle. Gwen found herself stepping closer to him. There was an air about the men; it wasn't friendly.

"Garage is closed," Clay stated.

"We aren't here for repairs," the man in front replied. He had grey hair and was wearing a decent enough looking suit. He definitely thought more of himself than he probably should but he also wasn't the type you should tell that. "I understand you're a Camacho fan."

Clay looked down at the wooden box the man extended to him. "Who are you?"

That was the question of the night; everyone wanted to know who this man was.

Gwen noticed a shift in Opie as they waited to hear the man's response, like he was leaning forward trying to get a better vantage on the exchange. She nudged him and nodded him forward.

"Go, I'm fine back here."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes, go do your thing. I'm okay."

He squeezed her hand quickly and walked towards the group, his long legs taking determined strides. She could hear his boots echoing off the concrete.

She tucked some loose hair behind her ear as a breeze blew it across her face and then turned to shuffle closer to her door. Of shot went down she wanted to be able to make a quick escape.

"Do you really want to make a scene right here Mr. Traeger, in front of all these witnesses?"

She looked up to see the group of men on guard. Tig, Jax and Opie all reaching for their guns.

Her heart fluttered. This is what they did and she never harbored any illusions that it was any different. It had been a long time since she had been in the middle of the conflict, though.

There was a hand on her left shoulder and she jumped and whipped her head around quickly to find Gemma standing by her.

"Sorry!" Gemma exclaimed in a hushed voice.

Gwen reached for her hand and Gemma moved closer, the two women standing stoic and protective, and worried, about their guys and what could lead to a bigger conflict.

"Do you know who they are?" Gwen asked.

"League of something, league of nationals maybe? They're Nazi's on steroids," Gemma hissed. "I think this is all just a big show, though, probably from Darby."

"Ah, marking their territory."

"Tryin' to," Gemma replied with a huff.

The men broke apart from their impromptu huddle and parted ways. One man paused and directed his gaze towards Gwen and Gemma.

"Sorry for the interruption, ma'ams." He nodded and returned to the waiting car, before it backed slowly out of the parking lot as the MC looked on with stern faces.

"Gross," Gwen sneered, shaking her head. "Blegh."

"You heading home, baby?" Gemma asked, trying to change up topics and move the moment in to the past.

"Yeah," she gave her, her attention. "I'm not cut out for the parties anymore. I'm tired."

"I hear you. If you're swinging by the house for the kids, give my grand baby a kiss for me."

"I will," Gwen gave her a warm smile.

Gemma gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and then she was off in to the dark towards her Charger. Gwen turned her eyes back towards her brother and friend. They were having a hushed conversation with Tig and Chibs now. She started to move, to make her way towards them, but Opie and Tig broke away and headed towards their bikes.

Chibs and Jackson weren't far behind them.

Gwen inhaled deeply, the roar of their bikes starting up hitting her ears. She loved that sound, especially when it was a signal for a safe return home. She wasn't a fan of it in this moment. Her eyes searched Opie's face, mentally willing him to look at her so she could silently send him a 'be careful' wish. He was staring at the open gate, his face like stone, waiting for his VP to lead the way out so he could fall in to formation.

This must be the retaliation run she thought to herself.

She swallowed hard at the knowledge that the man to her brother's right should actually be the one looking down the barrel of Opie's gun and not whatever man they were about to take their vengeance out on. She knew he wouldn't be an innocent; Jax would never let that happen. He would be innocent of the crime he was dying for, though.

Briefly, her eyes flicked to Clay who was standing in the open door of the garage, overlooking his club and their revelry, and then her eyes were back to the four men.

Jax was looking at her. He nodded to her, she nodded back, and then they were leaving.

The drive to Jax's house to pick up Ellie and Kenny was short but just long enough to roll her windows down and let the cooler air settle her head, and heart, and nerves. There was always refreshment in the night smells of Charming and her long hair whipping around her face and the dark and quiet. She even caught herself smiling.

Nita's car was parked on the road and Gwen's smile slowly turned to a frown as she pulled in to the driveway, parking next to a familiar black car.

She hurried up the steps and tested the doorknob, it was unlocked, while she knocked lightly with the other hand.

"Hello? It's me!" she called out softly, trailing off the 'me' in a sing song voice. Ellie and Kenny rushed in to the living room to greet their aunt. "Hey guys."

Nita wasn't far behind them, a smile on her face, and she greeted Gwen.

"I hope they behaved for you," Gwen said, chuckling at Kenny hugging himself to her.

"They were wonderful."

"I got to help Dr. Knowles feed Abel," Ellie offered with a grin. "He's so tiny."

"He's sweet though isn't he?" Gwen asked.

Tara appeared behind Nita, cradling a sleeping Abel in her arms. She and Gwen made eye contact and Gwen could feel her blood start to heat up. There must have been an unpleasant look on her face because Tara averted her eyes away from Gwen.

It was no secret to anyone that there was a lack of good will between the two women. There may have never actually been any goodwill between the two women. It had been a long time since they had seen each other aside from in passing as the hospital, but it seemed that time hadn't changed much.

"Gwen can we watch a movie?" she heard Kenny ask and she pulled out of her inner battle scene in her head and looked at him. He and Ellie were giving her an expecting look.

"If I get to pick the movie, yes," she smiled. "Head out to the car and I'll be there in a second. No front seat, Ken! Don't make me move you myself!"

Both of the kids were headed for the door as she called out to them. "Don't touch the roof until I'm out there!"

Nita chuckled at their scurrying and Gwen turned an exasperated look on her. "Why do they have more energy than I do? Friday nights used to be my prime time."

"We're older now," Nita smiled.

"How much do I owe you?"

Nita shook her head, "Mr. Teller said he had it covered. It's nothing."

Gwen nodded and smiled warmly at the older woman.

Nita wasn't oblivious to the other woman standing in the room and with the end of her exchange with Gwen, she quietly exited to the kitchen.

They made eye contact again and there was silence. Gwen slid her hands in to her back pockets and shook her hair away from her face with a quick jerk of her head. She looked Tara up and down; waiting for her to speak. She refused to be the first.

"You're really great with Ellie and Kenny," Tara said.

"They're good kids."

"How is Opie doing?"

"As well as can be expected." Gwen shrugged and glanced at her feet briefly. "I didn't realize that surgeons were making house calls these days."

Tara nodded and Gwen could see her inhale deeply. "I, um, didn't figure Jax would be here. I know there's a SAMCRO party going on. I was on my way home, though, and I thought I would just check in. Have those parties changed any?"

"No, not really. Same thing as always except the guys have gotten older. I need to get them home before they take it upon themselves to drive my car home," Gwen nodded towards the door.

"Yeah, of course. Have a good night."

Gwen glanced at the sleeping baby in Tara's arms again. She gave her a silent nod and then turned on her heels to retreat towards the door.

"Hey, do you know when…if, you know, things will wrap up soon?" Tara asked her, stopping her exit.

"No," Gwen replied, shaking her head 'no' for emphasis. "They had just left for a run when I was leaving. You know how that goes."

"Yeah, I do. Thanks."

Gwen nodded again, just once, and started for the door again. It closed behind her without another word from Tara and Gwen caught herself exhaling loudly. She rolled her eyes and made another 'blegh' exclamation noise at the run in with the old acquaintance.

She hurried down the steps and gave both of the kids a smile as she slid in to the driver's seat. "Seat belts on before the top goes down."

Both kids smiled and she heard two 'clicks' of the belts locking. Gwen eyes them in her rear view before reaching for the lever to turn the Mustang in to a convertible.

"Gwen?" Ellie asked from behind her as they watched the tapestry fold up. Gwen turned in her seat to look at her. "Are you going to leave now that dad is back?"

"Who told you that?"

"Dr. Knowles asked Miss Nita if you would be leaving now that dad is home."

"I'm not leaving, Elle-Belle. I'm opening a bakery here. You guys aren't getting rid of me."

"Good."

Gwen passed a smile from Ellie to Kenny and then turned around in the car. Her smile faded and she cast a long glare at the black car next to her before putting her car in to reverse and backing out of the driveway, heading home.


	5. Chapter 5

**I got really stuck on this one - as you guys can probably tell from the long time between postings. I kept rewriting it but I think I was finally satisfied with it. I'm excited about the plans I have!**

 **Thank you for reading, following and reviewing! I hope it was worth that wait!**

* * *

 **Chapter 5: Fine**

Even in a deep sleep the rumble of an approaching motorcycle could stir Gwen. She opened her eyes and waited as they adjusted to the dark bedroom and listened to the approaching bikes. It was more than one; that could be good or bad. She took a moment to lay in the bed, rolling on to her back, and waited for the sound of the kitchen door being opened.

She heard it shut, heard the sounds of boots on the tile and then the hardwood and then retreating down the hall.

That was her cue.

She tossed back the covers and quietly shuffled toward the door. _Why are you trying to sneak around?_ She thought to herself.

She cracked the door open and stuck her head in to the hallway; mentally preparing for whoever came out of the bathroom at the end of the hall to not be Opie.

It _was_ Opie and the site of her halfway standing in the hallway startled him. He jumped slightly and then sighed heavily, resting his hand on his chest.

"Jesus, bird," he mumbled, breathing heavy.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, trying to keep her voice low. "Are _you_ okay?"

"Yeah it's fine. I'm fine. I just…I need to get cleaned up…" He averted his eyes from hers as he responded, glancing back towards the open bathroom door. "Is everything okay with you?"

Gwen nodded, "the bikes woke me and I just wanted to be sure it was you."

"I'm sorry we woke you up. Are the kid's okay?"

Gwen crossed her arms and glanced down the hallway towards the master bedroom, Opie's room. "They're asleep in your room. They were afraid they'd miss you getting home so I told them they could sleep in there. They wanted to tell you goodnight."

It was Opie's turn to nod. "Jax is in the kitchen."

They held each other's gaze for a moment; an unspoken message passing between the siblings. Gwen gave a soft smile and turned away from her brother, leaving him to his business.

Her bare feet were quiet against the cool wood and she approached the kitchen to find Jackson leaning against the countertop next to the fridge, smoking a cigarette.

His eyes met hers, taking in her cotton shorts and grey tank top at the same time she was taking in the torn sleeve of his hoodie and smattering of blood around it.

"What happened?" She asked.

Jax glanced down at his sleeve while she crossed the room. Her fingers parted the tear in the fabric so she could see the cut across his arm.

"I'm fine, I've had worse," he answered.

She was pushing the sleeve up his arm now, lifting it carefully away from his skin. She inspected the wound and frowned. It wasn't deep but it had been very close to being deep enough to cause problems. "Do you want me to at least clean it up for you?"

"I was hoping you would."

Gwen nodded towards the dining room table, "sit, I'll get my bag."

They were quiet while she worked. He let her rest his arm across her legs as she cleaned the cut and closed it with butterfly strips.

Her eyes darted up to his face a few times. He was watching her, looking at her, but he didn't seem to be quite 'there' and in the moment. His thoughts were floating.

"Where's your head, Jax?" she finally asked as she wrapped a bandage around his arm.

She felt the slightest movement from him, a jump, as he checked back in to the moment.

Her eyes looked up and this time he was looking directly in to hers.

"I helped Opie kill a man tonight."

Her shoulders dropped slightly at his statement. Not because she was hearing him admit to killing a person; she would be an idiot to think that he, or Opie, or her dad, or any of the men she was surrounded by in her life, had never done that before. It was the sound of his voice and the noticeable pain, maybe disgust, which she could hear in it.

She reached up and cupped his face, running her thumb along the stubble. He relaxed at her touch, his eyes fluttering closed, and she could hear him exhale heavily.

The room, the house, was totally silent for a moment as they sat there. Gwen tried to mentally will some comfort to reach him through her hand.

Silence meant the sound of the shower was gone. Opie would probably be back in the living room and joining them any minute.

"Come on," she stated, breaking up the moment.

His eyes opened and he gave her a questioning look and she averted her eyes towards the kitchen door that would lead them outside, silently suggesting they relocate. She took his hand from the uninjured arm and tugged it gently as she stood.

"Fresh air might be good," she added at his questioning look.

He followed along with her, quiet while they exited in to the garage. He eyed the skeleton of the bike Opie had brought home with him to repair for Gwen. She stopped in the opened doorway of the garage and studied his and Opie's bikes. He could see her biting the inside of her bottom lip.

She folded her arms across her body, a reaction to the cooler night air outside the house, and leaned her hip against the frame of the large opening. "I don't know if I can really say anything that will make you feel any better about tonight but I can try," she finally said. She turned her head and her gaze on him. "You have a good heart, Jax; your heart and your head are in the right place."

Jax scoffed.

She frowned and turned her body facing towards him, leaning her back against the frame now. "Did he deserve it?"

Jackson shrugged, barely noticeable, and shook his head, "not for this."

"Would he have for any other reason?"

"It doesn't make it right."

"Did it…" she paused and thought about her words before she spoke. She swallowed hard and inhaled, "do you think it helped…Opie?"

"Yeah," Jax nodded, "at least for now."

"Is it going to come back on Opie or you?"

"I made it look like Niners did it," Jax answered, "protects him and the rest of us."

"What happened?"

He shook his head 'no' and looked away from her, down at the ground, burying his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "You don't want to know that part of it."

"I do if you need to get it out."

He shook his head 'no' again. He inhaled deeply and turned to face towards the road, taking in the quiet of the night. "It should've been Clay."

"It should have," she replied, agreeing with him. She was standing by him now. He hadn't even noticed that she moved until she spoke. She mirrored his stance, arms still folded. "Seeing Opie around here today and tonight, the little I've gotten to really see him; I get it better now, Jax. He's in a bad place...a really bad place and...I don't know if anything can really hold him together. I can't, pops can't and the kids can't..."

"Opie loves them," Jax said.

"I know he does but they remind him of Donna, too, and...I think he doesn't think he can do this on his own."

She shrugged at the end of her statement. Jax didn't respond immediately, waiting to see if she was going to continue. He could sense that she had more to say.

He reached for the pack of cigarettes in his pocket and held it out for her. She looked at him and took one, waited for him to produce his zippo and hold up a flame for her, and took a drag before speaking again.

"He needs the club," she said.

"Yeah, I need him too," Jax added.

Gwen's head tilted slightly and she smiled softly at the verbal affirmation of the friendship between Jax and Opie.

"If he finds out it was Clay behind all of this, everything will fall apart," Jax added. "I need him if I'm going to keep everything together and he…needs something to focus on. Besides that bike and the silence of this garage."

Gwen glanced over her shoulder as the skeleton of the Knucklehead Opie had brought home to rebuild.

"I guess we aren't bike hunting anymore," she stated. She looked back at Jax. He had a soft smile on his lips and he gave a silent nod at her observation. "As much as it pains me to say or think; Clay is important in all of this. But I know…when it's the right time, you'll handle things. You'll make it right. I trust that, Jax."

Jax nodded, looking down at the ground and down the driveway into the quite darkness of the Charming neighborhood. "I'm sorry, Gwen. I should've told you sooner. You shouldn't have heard _that_ from someone like Hale."

She flicked her butt towards the gravel flower bed to her right and looked at him. "I know why you didn't. I'm sorry I blew up at you the way I did. It was a gut reaction."

His head turned and he looked at her, the breeze blowing the shorter bangs around her face. There was sincerity in her eyes; a true sense of being apologetic. It was the same look he was sure he had in his eyes.

Without speaking she stepped towards him and slid her arms underneath his, wrapping her arms around his waist and underneath his cut, against the warmth of his hoodie. She leaned her head against his shoulder. He tossed his cigarette aside at her movement and returned her hug, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her tight to him. His face was buried in her hair and it smelled of suntan lotion and the beach.

They hugged for a few moments and shared the weight of the last 24 hours in silence.

"Thank you for always taking care of me, Jax. Without fail. Opie, too and," she paused. He pulled back from her, putting some space between their embrace, and looked down at her. "I know it's beyond 'protecting me'," she even did air quotes. "You're good to me and I'm not sure I've ever really earned that."

"You're family," Jax replied. "And _this_ was about protecting you. Not just how you were feeling but I don't trust Clay and I don't know what he would do if he found out you knew. I can't let you get hurt by him, or worse. I'm not risking that."

"Darlin," she started, again taking a chance to return his favorite pet name back to him, and with a small smile playing on her lips, "you can't carry all this weight around on your shoulders. You can't, Jax."

"It's part of the job."

"You're still important too. I know that my pops, Opie and you would never _never_ let something happen to me if it was something you could control. Whatever, whoever. But I know that dangerous, fucked up shit happens. I know that and it's not something you have to worry about. I'm familiar with SAMCRO, with the life."

"Yeah but It's not the same now Gwen. Clay isn't the same."

"None of us are the same," she said sweetly. She grazed her fingers over his stubble again and rested her hands on his chest. "You're doing what you have to do and tonight, you did what you had to do. For Opie; for the club. Don't hang on to anything other than that. Go home and hold Abel and relax; let it fade away. It'll make this feel better," she patted his chest over his heart.

One of Jax's hands came up and captured hers, holding it over his heart. He had been looking down at her while she spoke, his eyes searching her face.

"Spending time with you makes it feel better too."

Gwen started to respond, her lips parted slightly. She paused and closed her lips and exhaled deeply. A soft smile formed. "Me too, Jax."

She reached up with the free hand that wasn't enclosed in his against his chest and fingered a chunk of his blonde hair that was falling forward from behind his ear. Then she shifted slightly forward on her toes and quickly, softly, pressed her lips to his. It was brief, innocent, but enough to leave them both silently looking at each other in the middle of Opie's driveway with an edge of something in the air; a spark.

Definitely a spark.

"I should head home," Jax said after a moment. He was still holding her hand to his chest.

"Yeah you should," she replied. "Have a good night."

She stepped back from him, breaking their connection. Jax let her fingers trail from his hand as she turned to make her way inside the house. He watched her weave through the garbage and stop for just a moment to turn a look back on him as she opened the door and then slipped inside.

She stood inside the doorway and waited to hear the sound of his bike starting up. As soon as she heard the roar she turned the lock and began to quietly shuffle through the house, turning off lights as she went.

Light was still spilling in to the hallway from Opie's room. She stepped in to the doorway and smiled brightly as the scene in front of her. Kenny and Ellie were still asleep in the bed and Opie was asleep in the rocking chair in the corner of the room. Gwen's heart warmed, more so than it already was after her moment with Jax. This was how she liked to see her brother; at peace and surrounded by his kids in his home. It was a moment that made her feel like maybe at the end of it all, things would work out ok for all of them.

-ACLOTM-

Opie stood outside of the clubhouse, almost finished with a cigarette while he waited for the lights of Gwen's car to come through the open gate. It was late, after 10:00, and it had been a long day. It had been a long and busy day. I had been a long and busy and stressful day. He paced a few steps and then paced the few steps back to where he had started.

"Come on, Gwen…" he stated under his breath.

There were headlights and he stopped pacing and paused in his steps. He watched as she parked near the congregation of bikes and then she was exiting the car and hurrying towards him.

"What happened?" she asked as she reached him. He gave her a quick kiss on the top of her head and she instinctively looked him up and down. She always hoped that whatever she got beckoned to the clubhouse for didn't involved Opie or Piney. She had experienced that before; the dismissive tone from Clay and the pained look from Jax telling her that Opie had been arrested. "You're okay?"

"Bobby got shot," he stated.

Gwen exhaled sharply, "how bad?"

Opie shrugged. "That's why I called you."

"Yeah," she nodded, "where is he?"

Opie turned silently and led her in to the clubhouse.

Bobby was seated at the bar, gripping a bottle of whiskey with his right hand. Chibs was holding gauze to his left shoulder and Gwen could see the blood seeping on to it as soon as walked in the door. There were other members of the club standing around but Gwen only really registered Bobby and Chibs, and that quiet relief inside of her that neither Opie nor Jax had been hurt.

Chibs gave her a silent nod when she stood in front of them.

"Patch me up, birdie," Bobby said before taking a swig from the bottle.

She turned her eyes to Chibs and stepped over to stand next to him.

"How bad?" she asked and reached for a pair of gloves from the first aid kit sitting on the bar top.

"Bullet went all the way through but it's not pretty."

"I never was very pretty," Bobby grumbled.

Gwen frowned at him and exchanged a look with Chibs before stepping in and taking over the pressure he was holding on the wound. "You're lucky, Bobby, you know that?" she asked.

Bobby responded with a grunt.

Gwen smiled and looked over her shoulder to take a quick inventory of what was in the first aid kit. She would've brought her own bag if Opie had warned her that this was what the phone call and summons was for. He had been quick and curt. _"Just come to the clubhouse, ok? Hurry."_

It was the second nerve-wracking phone call she had received that day. The first being from Jax that Gemma had been in a car accident and was at .

When the 'boring' faded away and things picked up around the Sons- things really picked up.

"Do you need anything?" Chibs asked.

"Um, yeah, I could use my ba-"

"Just hold things together. Tara is on her way," Clay's voice interrupted Gwen's response. "She can handle everything."

Gwen clinched her teeth together and pursed her lips, not bothering to turn her head and even look at the man who was speaking to her. "I can handle it," she spoke after a slight pause.

"We'll wait."

Gwen sighed heavily and licked her lips, turning a cold and blank gaze on the leader standing to her side, "no problem, Clay."

There was an awkward silence and thick blanket of tension that settled over the group who was crowded around in the bar. Gwen registered that Gemma was standing just behind Clay and her heart practically shattered when she saw the cuts and bruises on her face from her car accident the night before. She hadn't had a chance to check in on her yet that day; she was actually on her way to her house when Opie's call came through. Their eyes met across the room and they shared a silent moment. Gwen wanted to hug her, to help her; she may have been a little more worse for the wear than Bobby was once his bleeding subsided.

Tara entered a few minutes later. It had felt like hours since Clay's dismissal of Gwen's help to the waiting group.

Gwen stepped to the side without a word exchanged between her and the other women and let her take over.

She removed the latex gloves and stepped behind the bar and disposed of them in a trash can. She was met with a cold beer, courtesy of Chibs. She accepted it with a nod and then she made her way across the room to Gemma.

"Oh, Gem," Gwen stated, her voice cutting underneath the chatter of the room and Tara speaking to Bobby. Gwen gently and slowly reached out to lightly touch the bandage on Gemma's cheek. "Oh man…I'm so sorry. I didn't realize your wreck had been this bad. Jax asked me to come over and check on you tonight…"

"It's ok baby," Gemma said, reaching out for her hand. "Someone had to hold things together around here and I've had the boys and Unser all over me anyways. I've had worse than this."

Gwen's eyebrows lifted at the dismissal of her injuries by Gemma and the familiar phrase of _"I've had worse."_ Apparently everyone in the club or related to it had, had worse.

"Cars can be replaced baby."

"You can't though," Gwen responded.

Gemma shared a smile with the young woman and their attention was stolen by Jax entering the clubhouse.

"Oh, Jesus Christ…" Jax approached Bobby.

"The Mayans, they crashed our little Niner delivery, man," Tig stated from next to Gemma.

There was a mixture of reactions and emotions that flittered across Jax's face as he took everything in; surprise, worry, concern, and affection once he spotted Gemma.

"Oh man."

Gemma's hand went to her face and she gave her son a silent and strong nod of acknowledgement.

"Jax, in here."

A commanding voice came from the back of the room, from the chapel. It drew Jax's attention as well as Gemma's and Gwen's. Jax gave his mom another concerned and tender look. She nodded again and he looked towards the open door that Clay had stepped away from. He looked at Gwen. She was standing next to Gemma, her hands on her hips at the waist of her jeans, quiet and observant, but she looked strong. She looked unshaken and calm.

Jax reached for her hand, pulling it away from its resting place and squeezed it quickly, kissing her cheek quickly as well before following Clay.

"That little judgment call you made for the good of the club came back to bite us in the ass, almost killed Bobby," Clay said. He was seated on the table carved with the Reaper, his hands on his legs.

"I see that," Jax replied.

"Whatever you may think the truth is, everything I do is to protect what we got. It's never arbitrary and it's never reactive. I've been doing this for 30 years, I know a few things."

"Taking that tag off the Mayan was the right decision. You know that."

"You want to challenge me? Fine. I don't give a shit," Clay stood, face to face with Jax, eye to eye. "But the minute it stops being about this club and it starts becoming personal they'll know that. They'll lose respect for you and they won't trust you anymore, and then you'll be handling everything on your own. Think about that, _son_."

Jax stared ahead as Clay left the room, exhaling as the door closed behind him. He let his head drop and braced himself on the backs of the empty chairs in front of him. He let the air, the words, settle for a minute, taking in the silence, taking a moment to breathe.

Chibs looked up from his place at the bar as Jax stepped back in to the room. Jax looked around, settling on Tara for a few moments before Chibs approached him.

"If you're looking for mother she went to the roof."

Jax nodded slowly. "Gwen?"

"Picnic tables, I think."

"Thanks Chibs."

Gwen was outside, sitting at a picnic table right outside the door. She was sitting with Tig and Opie, a beer nestled between her hands. The three of them looked in his direction when he came outside.

"Everything good man?" Opie asked first.

"Yeah," Jax nodded.

He looked at Gwen. She brushed her hair away from her face and gathered it across one shoulder. There was silence among the group. Gwen could sense the need for her to make an exit, to give them a chance to talk without her non-club ears being privy to what they shared. "I'm gonna go say goodnight to Bobby and check on him; get back to the house and relieve dad. And let you boys talk."

"They're all probably asleep," Opie said, looking over his shoulder at her. "Might as well enjoy the night."

"Well then I'm gonna go say goodnight to Bobby and check on him and then go to the strip club," she teased.

"Hey take me with you," Tig volunteered.

"I don't think she's going to the little Chinese boy strip club, Tiggy," Opie drawled.

Gwen chuckled and stood from the table. "Goodnight boys."

Jax was alone at the picnic table when Gwen stepped back outside; cigarette in his hand and a beer bottle next to him.

"How's Bobby?" Jax drawled, looking up at her.

"He'll be okay. He's in good hands. I was asked to be sure his bandages get changed out and that he doesn't mix too much whiskey with his oxy."

"I didn't ask Tara to come here," he quickly defended.

"Yeah I know. Clay did that. It seems he doesn't trust me; which is fine because the feeling is mutual." She walked slowly towards Jax, arms folded across her chest. "It's not…I don't care, really. Bobby is what's important."

They were quiet for a few moments while Jax finished his cigarette. They watched the comings and goings of the lot, the few lingering croweaters who were around.

"You look tired," Gwen said.

Jax nodded and instinctively rubbed his hands across his face, "it was a long day, and I probably need to go check on my mom."

"She's on the roof."

Her gave her a studied look before he slid off the picnic table and standing in front of her. His hands were deep in his pockets and he looked down at her. "So what are you going to do with your free night?"

"Probably just get drunk with Chibs," she smiled. "He misses me."

"Will you wait around for me? Come to the house with me?"

"Sure," she replied, "you okay?"

Jax nodded and kissed her temple before he started to walk away, towards the clubhouse, speaking as he walked. "I'm fine, I just missed you today, too."


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey look, an update! I honestly have no excuse for my absence but let's see if we can get things rolling again!**

* * *

Jax made his way down the hallway that lead to the main room of the clubhouse after talking to Gemma, finally leaving her at her insistence to "go enjoy your night, baby". He let his fingers trail along the platform that his dad's bike was sitting on, an involuntary motion that he didn't realize he even did. He could hear the loud exclamations coming from the bar; Gwen's voice mixed with laughter and an unmistakable thick Scottish accent.

"Oh you have to bloody be kidding me!"

Jax raised his eyebrows as the room came in to view and he caught the tail end of Chibs taking a long shot from a black label bottle of Jack Daniels.

"What did I miss?"

Gwen's head turned and she smiled at him over her shoulder. Chibs was across the bar from her and making a grimacing face in her direction.

"I'm owning Chibs in quarters," she answered.

"It's embarrassing, but also entertaining," Juice said.

"Aye, prospect!" Chibs exclaimed.

There was silence in response as Juice, Gwen and Jax both looked at him and waited for him to add to his statement. After a moment his face fell and he shrugged, going for another shot from the bottle in his hand, "I give up, I have nothin'."

Gwen laughed heartily and slid off of her barstool to round the bar and hug Chibs. "You're a good sport."

"Thank you, Gwennie love," Chibs pressed a kiss to her head. "I need air and water and a woman now…"

"Oh I didn't need to hear all of that," she cringed, stepping back from him.

Chibs winked at her, grinned, and turned to head outside with the bottle still in his hand and Juice not too far behind him.

She turned her look on Jax. He was giving her his devil may care smirk, his hands in his pockets as he leaned his back against the end of the bar. "What?"

He shook his head, "nothing."

"Right, nothing," she rolled her eyes and reached for the beer that still had a few sips in it. The look coming from Jax was making something stir in her, the same way his casual mention of 'I missed you today, too' had stirred something in her, and she was going to try her best to quell it. "How is Gem?"

Jax inhaled deeply and reached for the carton of cigarettes in his pocket. "She's not great. She's putting up a tough front but I don't feel good about where her head is right now."

"That sounds like typical Gemma," Gwen responded. "You know she never shows her cards. We all come before she does anything for herself."

He nodded, taking a drag from his cigarette and reaching for the beer bottle she had cradled in her hands. She scoffed playfully when he took it and drained it of the reaming liquid and chuckled at her. "Would you mind checking on her? In the morning? She might…" Jax trailed off, shrugging, burying his free hand in a pocket of his jeans.

"Yeah I'll take her some breakfast," Gwen smiled.

"Thank you."

"Of course."

Jax cut his eyes up at her at the sound of sincerity in her voice. He didn't know if it was coming from her fondness for Gemma, or her fondness of him, or the amount of alcohol in her system; but he didn't mind any of the reason, or all of them combined. He took a moment to glance around the clubhouse. It was emptying; most of the revelers that had been around that night occupied in their dorms and scattered elsewhere around the lot or out in to the night.

"You ready to get out of here?" he asked.

"Yeah," she smiled.

He nodded and they both moved, Jax ashing his cigarette in the ashtray sitting on the bar top and Gwen reaching for her leather jacket that was draped across the back of the stool she had been sitting in. She slid her arms in to it and reached in a pocket for her keys.

She paused and then looked up in to his blue eyes, "can I just ride with you?"

He nodded, "yeah."

She could roll down all four windows in her car, or drop the top down, and nothing would ever compare to the feeling of the wind hitting your face when you were on a bike. Gwen relished the feeling and the strength of the bike and the warmth of her arms wrapped tightly around Jax as they made their way through streets and night of Charming.

They entered the house, greeted by Nita's warm smile.

"He's been sleeping pretty soundly for about an hour," Nita said, passing a smile from Jax to Gwen. "And there's some spaghetti left over in the fridge."

"You don't have to cook for me, Nita," Jax said.

"I like to," she smiled again, "and now I'm going home. Good night."

Gwen and Jax both echoed 'goodnight' to her as she gathered her bag and headed towards the front door.

Gwen chuckled as she slipped out of her leather jacket and draped it across the back of his couch. "She thinks I'm sleeping with you."

Jax shot a surprised look towards the door Nita had just exited from before turning it on Gwen, "you think?"

"Yeah I've been getting that look from people since we were teenagers. She's telling one of her girlfriends right now that Jackson Teller has a new old lady," she chuckled again and wandered towards the kitchen. "I'm heating up this spaghetti, are we sharing?"

Jax smiled to himself at her call from the kitchen. He followed behind her, unzipping and discarding his kutte and hooded jacket with her leather jacket and followed in her steps to the kitchen.

"So SAMCRO is doing porn now?" Gwen scoffed and shook her head. Jax had spent the time it took them to share the plate of food filling Gwen in on most of the details of the day, mainly focused around the takeover of Leeanne's porn operation.

" _We_ aren't doing the porn but yes, SAMCRO is doing porn now," he answered.

"I can name at least four of you who would happily jump right in were someone needed so don't try and pass off a high and mighty act on me." She nudged the last bite of garlic bread towards him and cut a look at him.

"Don't give me those eyes, I would never."

"You and my brother both would," Gwen countered and then shuddered.

Jax laughed and leaned back in his chair. Gwen quietly gathered the plate and their utensils and turned towards the sink to at least somewhat clean up. He watched her, producing a cigarette from the discarded pack on the table, and let the silence fall over them. Sometime while they were eating she had pulled her hair up in a top knot. A few strands were falling out, trailing down below her shoulder blades. Pieces of the tattoo on her back were peeking out from underneath the tank top she was wearing.

She turned around and stopped, slightly taken back by the stare he had locked on her.

"What?"

He shook his head, "I want to show you something."

Her eyes widened slightly, "oh?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "give me a minute."

"Ok..."

She watched him curiously as he trekked across the living room and disappeared down the hallway towards the bedrooms. She had a dish towel in her hands and she tossed it aside on the counter and made her way in to the living room while she waited for Jax to return. She slid her cell phone out of the back pocket of her jeans to check for any messages, from anyone.

Blank. It was total silence.

Jax's steps down the hallway landed on her ears before she actually saw him appear in the doorway to the living room. He had what looked like a binder in his hands and she couldn't read the look on his face. She had absolutely no idea of what to expect to come out his mouth when he spoke and although unexpected was the norm with this group, she felt just a slight but of unease.

She had pulled her feet up on to the couch and tucked them underneath her, sitting Indian style. Jax took the seat next to her, close enough that his leg brushed against her knee as he sat.

She studied him, quiet, as he stared at the blank cover of the binder he cradled in his hands.

"My dad wrote this," he said after a moment.

"What?" Gwen questioned.

Jax looked up and met her eyes. "My dad wrote this. I found it when I was getting some things for Abel out of the storage shed. It's his…it's his story, his manifest, it's everything he wanted the club to be and everything he hated about what it was turning in to…"

Gwen blinked a few times and exhaled slowly, almost a sigh, "Jax…"

"I want you to read it," he said, cutting her off before she could finished whatever line she was about to say. "Your dad has a copy, too, he made sure that _I_ found this one and had this one. I want you to read it."

"Are you sure?"

"I need for you to understand why I'm handling things the way I'm handling them and I don't think that I can explain it the way this will. With the club, Clay, Ope…" he trailed off and held the binder out for her to take from his hands. She took it from him, their gazes staying locked on each other. "I want you in this with me, Gwen. Read that first."

She found herself hours later, in to the early wee hours of the morning, still curled up on Jax's couch. She was buried in the oversized warmth of his hoodie as she read the words that JT Teller had put down on the pages that his son, and his best friend, and his best friend's daughter, were all reading over.

Jackson had sat with her, her legs stretched out over his lap, as she read and he watched TV, for as much as he could pay attention to what was happening on the screen. He had eventually retreated to the shower and after checking in on her again, retreated to bed.

He was sprawled out in the bed, on his stomach and one arm tucked underneath his pillow, when Gwen entered the rooms once she realized where the time had run off to. He had left the lamp on and she took a moment to stand in the doorway and just watch him sleeping. Her eyes moved from his peaceful face to the large Sons of Anarchy tattoo covering his back and she inhaled deeply as she took it in, along with the handful of scars she could make out in the dim light.

The Sons were part of her life; her dad, her mother, and her brother, had been or were all involved with the club. She had grown up surrounded by the other SAMCRO kids, Opie and Jax, and knowing that the life her dad was involved in supported their families but was also dangerous. She knew the violence that was involved, the risk, the laws they broke; but she also knew the safety and protection that being a member of that family brought with it. There would always be someone there.

 _I want you in this with me, Gwen_ echoed in her head. What had he meant by that? They were obviously beyond the childhood friendship line at this point, but did she want to be deep in Jackson Teller's world? Did she already have enough on her plate? Is that even what he meant?

She crossed the room to flip off the lamp, slowly and as quietly as she could, and turned back out of the room to peak in on Abel. He was sleeping just as peacefully as Jax was and Gwen couldn't help but smile warmly at the small baby. She was happy that he was too small to remember the slight turmoil that had surrounded his birth and his first few weeks, months of life. She wanted good things for him; just as she wanted them for Ellie and Kenny.

She sighed heavily and crossed the room to the day bed next to Abel's crib. She couldn't sleep tonight, despite the late hour. There were too many things swirling in her head.

She was curled up on the day bed when Jax shuffling around the room woke her. The room was bright, it was definitely morning, and he gave her his signature, melting smile as she rolled on to her back and looked up at him cradling Abel.

"Morning darling," he stated.

Gwen responded with 'hmph' and rolled on to her side with another groan followed by a yawn. Jax was chuckling.

"Come on, I have coffee," he added.

He handed a mug of the warm liquid over to her when she finally entered the kitchen after popping in to the bathroom to fix her disheveled state of 'I didn't get any sleep' and freshen up from a night on a glorified couch.

"I have to open things up today but you're welcome to stay and get some more sleep," Jax offered.

Gwen shook her head as she settled in to a corner of the kitchen and leaned against the counter top, "I know I would be but I'll be fine, I have things I need to do today. Starting with checking on Gem."

"I appreciate you doing that," he said.

"Stop, you _know_ you don't have say anything like that. I love Gem, I'm worried about her too. I worry about all of you."

"All of us?"

"Well not Clay, but yes," she smiled warmly. She sipped the coffee she cradled in her hands and watched quietly as Jax gave Abel a bottle. It was a bit of a sight to take in the white tshirt and his SAMCRO kutte, his slightly disheveled hair because he had fallen asleep with it wet, and the gentleness that he had with his son. Her stomach tightened slightly as she watched him, a quick swirl of butterflies. Without a doubt she wanted to be deep in Jax Teller's world, it was her world, her family's world; but she wanted to share it with him.

"Jax…" she started, his blue eyes turning on her from across the kitchen. She paused; she wasn't even sure what she had intended to say when his name came out of her mouth. There was just silence now and his questioning look.

A slow grin formed on his lips, "you know you look good standing in my kitchen in my clothes, drinkin' coffee…"

Gwen scoffed, "you ruined it."

She turned and sat her coffee mug on the countertop and gave him a frown.

"Gwen…" he said, a softer infliction in his voice.

"No, it's going to have to wait. I'm going to go change out of _your_ clothes, but I wouldn't hate more coffee."

"Come on, what were you going to say?" there was a slight chuckle in his voice but it was laced with sincerity. Her playful irritation was exactly that, playful, and he could read it all over her face. The ice needed to be broken, though. Whatever she started to say, the way she said his name; he hadn't been able to tell which direction on the good or bad scale it was going to go. And she did look very good in the sweats she had swiped from him during the night.

She stopped walking, closer to him and the kitchen table now, and ran her fingers through her hair that she had put in a ponytail that fell over her shoulder. Abel was already falling asleep again as he rocked gently in the tiny rocker sitting on the table.

"He's not going to mind whatever you have to say to me," Jax added, not missing her eyes falling on Abel.

She cut her eyes at him and then they both turned their attentions to the kitchen door as a knock came and Nita peaked her head inside.

"I'm going to go get ready so we can get to the shop," Gwen said, looking at Jax.

It took him a few minutes but he eventually found his way back to his bedroom where Gwen had already changed and was quickly braiding her hair in a messy side braid in the mirror along his dresser. She had swiped a tshirt from him to replace the tank top and flannel shirt she had been wearing the night before, it was tied up in the back to make a better fit, almost in to a crop top.

He didn't speak, he just entered the room and sat on the edge of the bed and watched her in their shared silence. Gwen cut her eyes at him in the mirror and studied him as she finished the braid and secured the hair tie around the ends.

"I want to do this with you, Jax," she finally said, turning around to face him.

She could see him inhale deeply before he spoke, "are you sure?"

She gave a small nod, "yeah."

There was the smile, the signature smirk, and he reached out to grab her hands, pulling her to him without a single pause and brining her lips to his for a deep, long kiss.

Chibs and Opie stood next to one of picnic tables outside of the shop and watched as Jax arrived, Gwen behind him with her arms wrapped around his waist. She dismounted and fixed the loose strands of hair that been pulled out of her braid from the helmet, laughing at an unheard comment that he made to her.

"Uh huh," Chibs stated matter of factly, adding a slight chuckle "saw that coming."

"Yeah," Opie added, his eyes not leaving his sister as she started on a path across the parking lot to her car.

Jax headed towards the office and Opie couldn't decide which one of them he wanted to go to. He had questions but he also didn't really want to ask them in that moment. Gwen made the decision for him, changing her direction when she realized he was standing underneath the awning.

"Didn't expect to see you so early," she smiled at him as she approached him.

"I didn't expect to see you here at all," he replied. He produced a pack of cigarettes, offering one to her, and proceeded to light his and take a long drag, all in silence. "With Jax."

"If you're about to do some big brother speech protective thing then we can skip it because there's no reason for you to do that."

"I wasn't."

She gave him a disbelieving look, "right."

"I don't do speeches, I'm not a man of many words, I…I'm good as long as you're good, but don't think I won't fight my best friend if-"

"I know, and I love you for it," Gwen interrupted him. "I have things to do this morning but I'll be back around this afternoon. We'll catch up, I'll make dinner ok?"

Opie nodded, "yeah."


End file.
